You don't use these words in sweeping, grandiose statements Heath. I find you are sensible with your words. Haha! Not like we want to always be sensible, but when it comes to tone and discernment it's probably the right way to go.
Well, this one was “Perfectly on time” Donna…😅. My “morning practice” has had me reflecting on my choice to engage or not engage when I find myself in the company of others who are living in the “drama world”. Thanks for the reminder to remain mindful about my own use of “words”. 💕
I loved your absolutism words, Donna. I’m particularly cautious of ‘always’ and ‘never’. For example, when I’ve had injuries it has been very easy, especially on the hard days, to think to myself “this is never going to get better” or “there is always pain”.
And then, on the better days, I would realise just how untrue those statements were. And over time, I started to hear those words as sort of alarm bells informing me that I was travelling down a thought pattern I didn’t want to go down.
In the context of chronic pain these words are an interesting conundrum. The work of Dr Helen Langer from Harvard illustrates this. She's had a career of researching interesting things like how our thoughts, words and surroundings affect our physiology. Sadly you've had enough experience with long episodes of pain that you can see the arc they usually (hopefully) take.
Yeah, I actually read Helen Langer’s book ‘The Mindful Body’ earlier this year — it was really helpful.
Only because I assume you’re interested in this stuff, I’ll share with you what I’ve been doing (warning long comment forthcoming — feel free to ignore it!)
Since the start of the year I’ve been doing a treatment called cognitive functional therapy (CFT). Funnily enough it was pioneered by a professor from Perth, Western Australia, named Peter O’Sullivan. There’s stuff online you can look up if you wanted to.) It’s too much to explain here (but I will certainly write about it all one day) but it is essentially a biopsycosocial model of pain treatment. And so, I’ve been working with one of their specialised physios and one of their specialised pain psychologists.
And in the last 6 months I have improved so much more than I did in the year and a half previous to that. It’s been so helpful. In fact, I’ve improved so much I’ve even been skating a little bit. Which is awesome.
Sorry for my belated reply Michael. Thank you so much for sharing about your recovery journey. I am unfamiliar with CFT, it sounds fascinating. I am going to look into it because I love learning about that kind of treatment approach. The best part is, of course, how much it's helping you...that you have been back on your board!!!! Amazing. I look forward to you writing about it.
I will say that for a introverted kid like me, writing has been an absolute godsend to help me clarify what I mean. Speaking and conversing with someone else is lots of rough drafts - with all those absolutes - and we rarely get a chance to think and revise our first thought into something more nuanced. Writing has helped me do that - and the more I've been writing in the last few years, the more I'm able to understand myself, and let go of the endless anxious revisions in my brain when I don't get it right the first time. Thanks for this check-in, my dear! 🩷
I think sinking into our writing helps us become more thoughtful with the words we speak...maybe?! I am also very big on revisions of all kinds so it's hard when I want to resay a conversation that has passed, but this seems to be a universal trait so I guess we can't sweat it!
You're right, but I still feel so much more put together since I started writing seriously - coincidentally also got sober around the same time...? hmmmm ;)
Those 4 letter words are the best absolutisms! I wish I would've thought to address that in this little piece. They are important and should not be eliminated from our vocabulary - we need the color!
LOL apparently I am always dramatic and exaggerate SOOOOOO much. According to my mother. 😁 I wouldn't say that, although I do use words like LITERALLY and MASSIVE all the time.
Sorry for the delayed response to your great words Kristi. Literally and massive are good ones even if they are a bit exaggeraty (I like that new word I just made up!). Both those words can be fully true even if, at the same time, they give us a bit of a brain check to see how accurate we are being. I'm laughing over here at your Mom saying you're dramatic, she probably knows better than anyone but it's also what makes you so good here on Substack because we love it!
I have, in fact just this week, caught myself using absolutisms. Luckily, in this case, I was pretty gentle with myself about it all. Sort of allowed the hyperbole and then giggled about it. But of course, this is not always the case. 😉
This is like one of those wellness shots in word form. I'm rocking along in my day, getting things done, griping about something I heard or saw, and then you hand me a compact vessel of goodness, an immunity boost with a potent dose of anti-inflammatory ingredients. It hits the spot, and I feel better already! Thank you, Donna!
Aw, Elizabeth! I appreciate your kind words and the thought that anything I wrote could be considered a wellness shot - this is a high compliment to me, thank you. ❤️
Words are a way for us to connect at a distance. When we say 'love', even thousands of miles away, the other person reverberates that emotion. The same happens when we say 'death', 'war', 'peace'. A word is all the time in the world condensed into a single moment, like a photograph of thought. Don't believe it? Think of the word 'sun'. Didn't you just see the sun?A word is a spotlight shining on a thought, a piece of air articulated by the mouth. It is a portal between you and me. A word is a condensation of the universe.
Rolando! You are a master of using words in the most beautiful way possible. I love the truth that a word is all the time in the world condensed into a single moment. The energy that accompanies that statement is profound and commands our attention and discernment. Thank you❤️
This comes at the perfect time. I've been reviewing my social media use, what keeps me scrolling and use of language like this is a real trigger for me. When I see people proclaim in absolutes it's like a red rag to a bull. I want to step in and correct them.
But we all know the futility of arguing with strangers on the internet.
You raise an excellent point Louise. Using our energy in the form of words to argue with someone on the internet is like giving them a piece of ourself we will never get back - the return is only diminishing. That pesky algorithm knows the dramatic words that hold our attention.
I am so glad this piece arrived at the right time for you. Thank you so much for your presence in this community, it is appreciated❤️
I do use all of these words so I appreciate the reminder of how powerful they are Thanks Donna I appreciated this post 💗
You don't use these words in sweeping, grandiose statements Heath. I find you are sensible with your words. Haha! Not like we want to always be sensible, but when it comes to tone and discernment it's probably the right way to go.
I appreciate you taking the time to comment😘
Well, this one was “Perfectly on time” Donna…😅. My “morning practice” has had me reflecting on my choice to engage or not engage when I find myself in the company of others who are living in the “drama world”. Thanks for the reminder to remain mindful about my own use of “words”. 💕
Thank you for your presence here Marilyn. Be well my friend❤️
I loved your absolutism words, Donna. I’m particularly cautious of ‘always’ and ‘never’. For example, when I’ve had injuries it has been very easy, especially on the hard days, to think to myself “this is never going to get better” or “there is always pain”.
And then, on the better days, I would realise just how untrue those statements were. And over time, I started to hear those words as sort of alarm bells informing me that I was travelling down a thought pattern I didn’t want to go down.
Thanks for the great reminder :)
In the context of chronic pain these words are an interesting conundrum. The work of Dr Helen Langer from Harvard illustrates this. She's had a career of researching interesting things like how our thoughts, words and surroundings affect our physiology. Sadly you've had enough experience with long episodes of pain that you can see the arc they usually (hopefully) take.
Yeah, I actually read Helen Langer’s book ‘The Mindful Body’ earlier this year — it was really helpful.
Only because I assume you’re interested in this stuff, I’ll share with you what I’ve been doing (warning long comment forthcoming — feel free to ignore it!)
Since the start of the year I’ve been doing a treatment called cognitive functional therapy (CFT). Funnily enough it was pioneered by a professor from Perth, Western Australia, named Peter O’Sullivan. There’s stuff online you can look up if you wanted to.) It’s too much to explain here (but I will certainly write about it all one day) but it is essentially a biopsycosocial model of pain treatment. And so, I’ve been working with one of their specialised physios and one of their specialised pain psychologists.
And in the last 6 months I have improved so much more than I did in the year and a half previous to that. It’s been so helpful. In fact, I’ve improved so much I’ve even been skating a little bit. Which is awesome.
Sorry for my belated reply Michael. Thank you so much for sharing about your recovery journey. I am unfamiliar with CFT, it sounds fascinating. I am going to look into it because I love learning about that kind of treatment approach. The best part is, of course, how much it's helping you...that you have been back on your board!!!! Amazing. I look forward to you writing about it.
I will say that for a introverted kid like me, writing has been an absolute godsend to help me clarify what I mean. Speaking and conversing with someone else is lots of rough drafts - with all those absolutes - and we rarely get a chance to think and revise our first thought into something more nuanced. Writing has helped me do that - and the more I've been writing in the last few years, the more I'm able to understand myself, and let go of the endless anxious revisions in my brain when I don't get it right the first time. Thanks for this check-in, my dear! 🩷
I think sinking into our writing helps us become more thoughtful with the words we speak...maybe?! I am also very big on revisions of all kinds so it's hard when I want to resay a conversation that has passed, but this seems to be a universal trait so I guess we can't sweat it!
You're right, but I still feel so much more put together since I started writing seriously - coincidentally also got sober around the same time...? hmmmm ;)
Such an interesting ‘coincidence’!
p.s. I toss around a lot of dramatic words, all of them 4-letters... ::))
Those 4 letter words are the best absolutisms! I wish I would've thought to address that in this little piece. They are important and should not be eliminated from our vocabulary - we need the color!
LOL apparently I am always dramatic and exaggerate SOOOOOO much. According to my mother. 😁 I wouldn't say that, although I do use words like LITERALLY and MASSIVE all the time.
Sorry for the delayed response to your great words Kristi. Literally and massive are good ones even if they are a bit exaggeraty (I like that new word I just made up!). Both those words can be fully true even if, at the same time, they give us a bit of a brain check to see how accurate we are being. I'm laughing over here at your Mom saying you're dramatic, she probably knows better than anyone but it's also what makes you so good here on Substack because we love it!
Good advice!
I have, in fact just this week, caught myself using absolutisms. Luckily, in this case, I was pretty gentle with myself about it all. Sort of allowed the hyperbole and then giggled about it. But of course, this is not always the case. 😉
The one that makes me giggle is “let me be honest with you”🤣 I know it’s not the same as being absolute but that one really cracks me up.
Being gentle with ourselves is so important, even if it’s a big deal💕
In my case, Donna, a well-timed piece. It's been a week of words, all spoken, none written. 😉
Sometimes those are hard weeks!
At a minimum, wordy!
This is like one of those wellness shots in word form. I'm rocking along in my day, getting things done, griping about something I heard or saw, and then you hand me a compact vessel of goodness, an immunity boost with a potent dose of anti-inflammatory ingredients. It hits the spot, and I feel better already! Thank you, Donna!
Aw, Elizabeth! I appreciate your kind words and the thought that anything I wrote could be considered a wellness shot - this is a high compliment to me, thank you. ❤️
Cast spells beautifully
❤️
Words are a way for us to connect at a distance. When we say 'love', even thousands of miles away, the other person reverberates that emotion. The same happens when we say 'death', 'war', 'peace'. A word is all the time in the world condensed into a single moment, like a photograph of thought. Don't believe it? Think of the word 'sun'. Didn't you just see the sun?A word is a spotlight shining on a thought, a piece of air articulated by the mouth. It is a portal between you and me. A word is a condensation of the universe.
Rolando! You are a master of using words in the most beautiful way possible. I love the truth that a word is all the time in the world condensed into a single moment. The energy that accompanies that statement is profound and commands our attention and discernment. Thank you❤️
Hi Donna. Thank you so much for using thise words about me 🙏
You are welcome!
This comes at the perfect time. I've been reviewing my social media use, what keeps me scrolling and use of language like this is a real trigger for me. When I see people proclaim in absolutes it's like a red rag to a bull. I want to step in and correct them.
But we all know the futility of arguing with strangers on the internet.
You raise an excellent point Louise. Using our energy in the form of words to argue with someone on the internet is like giving them a piece of ourself we will never get back - the return is only diminishing. That pesky algorithm knows the dramatic words that hold our attention.
I am so glad this piece arrived at the right time for you. Thank you so much for your presence in this community, it is appreciated❤️