Do you know what a big impact this has?

little things affect our energetic signature

This is an oldie but a goodie and I figure if I can’t remember it then you might not either…a piece from the archives about our energetic imprint.

Have you ever hung out with someone who’s tone of voice made your eyes cross? I don’t mean their actual voice but the tone they adopt.

I have.

Years ago I frequently hung out with someone who mostly talked in a baby-doll voice. It was bewildering to me. She was lovely inside and out and, from my perspective, had no reason to speak in a voice that was so clearly not her own. The problem was, aside from being irritating and distracting, I never felt like I could get past her façade to deeply know her because she would not allow her real self to emerge. The pretend baby-doll voice was as good as a physical shield to prevent closeness to anyone. Maybe that was the point.

Many years into our friendship we were away on a girls trip where ideas and confidences flowed freely. As the days progressed her voice grew noticeably stronger and more authoritative. Her shifting tone and demeanor allowed her to bloom right in front of our eyes. It was as if, without actually saying it, she was asking to be seen for who she truly was. It was interesting how HER tone of voice had such an affect on ME, even though it had nothing to do with me. I felt lighter and more worthwhile, like she valued me enough to be herself around me.

One of my besties gave me this T-shirt last weekend. It’s from when we went to camp 48 years ago!!! Same shirt. I love it so much. I wonder if I carry the same energetic signature as I did when I was twelve? None of the women I was with last week ever spoke in a baby-doll voice - far from it!

Our voice, and our chosen words, are part of our energy signature – our unique way of moving through the world. They are like a carrier medium indicating how we feel about ourselves, while at the same time delivering a charge that impacts others. They deserve our attention — yet often we are mindless with what we say and how we say it.

On it’s own a word is empty and meaningless because its value lies in what it contains. Words carry the meaning we assign to them and sometimes they come of our mouth with clarity to accurately convey what’s in our brain and heart.

Then there are those other times … like when we’re running on empty. It’s as if the stress-hormone-induced-buzz going on inside us sends messenger chemicals from our overwhelmed senses and they go flying out of our mouths in words that are not what we really mean, in a tone that’s less than ideal. This can be an instant, if subtle, energy drain for both us and those around us.

What if, when we speak with thoughtless words in a derogatory tone of voice, it impacts our energetic signature? What if this is one of those things we don’t yet fully understand but we do know how it makes us feel.

Speaking to others in the same manner we wish to be spoken to will elevate the energy in the room. Sometimes this may take awhile. If we’re in a disagreement or there’s a general pattern of dysfunctional communication already established we’re probably going to have to work hard at it. However, it’s amazing how much changing the way we talk to someone will create a in the shift in the relationship dynamic.

Gossiping about others makes us feel bad. If we pay attention to our heart when we do this we will see it’s a very noticeable energetic drain, yet for those of us in the habit of trying to solve problems that are not ours, it can initially feel like a boost because we get an endorphin rush. Proceed with caution my friend because treating others how we want to be treated is a universal law and, if we abuse it, it may come back to bite us later.

Using words and tone, even if it’s very subtle or unconscious, to indicate we are better than someone else is a surefire way to demonstrate our assholiness. You’ve likely heard the old saying that to know a person’s true character pay attention to how they talk to the server at the restaurant and the housekeeping staff at the hotel. It’s all in the tone and easily demonstrates their signature energy pattern. Integrity? or Assholy?

My dear Gorgeous One, we rarely need to silence our words or speak very quietly if it’s not our nature. We can allow our voice to take up the space we rightfully deserve because it has a big impact on our general well-being. Sometimes this takes practice so we can start small by projecting our voice just a little or nudging ourself to speak when it feels hard.

Being authentic (I know! It’s a word that’s overused but it so clearly indicates truly being ourselves) in our words and tone is a powerful way to be heard. When we catch ourselves whining, sounding sharp or irritable, repeating the same tone we had yesterday and the day before, it can help to pause and look at the person behind that voice. Who is it? What do they look like, what traits do they carry, and what name might they go by? Most importantly, what do you think they need? Ask them.

Like every other action we take, our words and tone create neural pathways in our brain. If used repetitively these particular brain maps become our new way of being. If we are considering the energy we project as we move through our day, we want to lay down neural pathways — including how we speak — that indicate our insides match our outside.

One last thing Honeybun, this is not something we need to overanalyze. I don’t want to make us self-conscious about our voice. This is simply a gentle call to be mindful of things that affect our energy in ways we may not expect.

xoxo Donna

PS: It would mean a lot to me if you would let me know you are here by hitting the ❤️ or, even better, leaving a comment. I love writing to you but recently am feeling almost alone in cyberspace! You can just leave one word - what is your most annoying tone of voice? Sickly sweet? Red-hot rage? Simmering resentment? Meaningful modulation? (I made that up).

Thanks for being here, stay awesome!