How to feel at home
When I was studying to become a Chiropractor I lived in the San Francisco bay area and would often go to Berkeley to study. I love it there, it's a hotbed of hippies, creativity & brains. It also has the best consignment stores in the world!
There's a bumper sticker from Berkeley that reads 'If you were in your body you'd be home by now'. Sadly, our cultural influences have brought most of us farther & farther from living inside our bodies and knowing our true inner self. There are tons of reasons for this, many of which fly below our conscious thinking radar, but some may be:
**the cultural fixation on youth & beauty that influences our belief that the outer is more important than the inner,
**the ability to get an instant hit by looking at our phones rather than tuning in to see what is going on inside our heart/soul/body,
**rampant addiction in all forms, a lot of which our culture deems 'normal' & OK which allows us to numb out and step away from our body,
**no longer living with nature.
I've spent tons of time living outside my body and it never goes well. It's taken a lot of exploration to figure out why I do this. For example, the first few years of my sober life my biggest trigger to drink was being tired. When I'm run down I want to step out of my body and feel anything other than what I am feeling. Wine seemed to be very helpful for alleviating this issue (it didn't work). This culturally accepted numbing out was a temporary fix that slowly, insidiously took me further from myself until she was disappearing. The essence of me, the thing that makes me ME was shrinking. Since I've stopped drinking I have also noticed she's AWOL when I feel resentful, when I eat too much lousy food or am too busy to tune in...just some of the things that move me outside of my own true self.
When this happens I watch myself read more & more fluffy books, watch more Netflix, stop exercising and eat #allthefoods. I have many great excuses for this behavior, one of them is 'at least I'm not drinking wine', what a cop out. I'm simply choosing a new way to live outside my body and numb out - denying what is actually going on for me. To return to myself I must draw the line. It's that simple (not bloody easy though). I think everyone returns to themselves in a different way and it helps to know what works best. For me I hit that AHA moment of 'THAT'S IT - no more!' Then the real work begins.
What does it mean to live outside of your body?
Your physical body is inexorably connected to your mind & spirit so when you tune out of your physical self you dull down the essence of YOU, the thing that makes you your best self. That beauty lives everywhere inside.
Start making yourself at home by PAYING ATTENTION to how you feel. Gorgeous One, do not let it go unnoticed. It is by not paying attention day after day that the wheels eventually fall off the bus! This can be in the form of apathy and feeling totally stuck (anyone??), illness, addiction or even just good old back pain. Then there's always my own personal fav - being too 'busy'.
Take note of how you feel when you eat that thing, read that material, go for coffee with that person, drink that wine, hit the buy button on Amazon? Does that make you feel truly good or does it hurt just a bit somewhere in your BEing? Are you lifted up or grabbing at your next quick hit so you can carry on?
HOW do you be at home in your own body?
1. HONOR your physical being by being physical. Take a few deep breaths every day and the trick is to actually notice that you're doing it! Stretch your limbs, walk or move with intention.
2. COMMIT to noticing yourself a few times a day...don't just toss some caffeine on the fire of exhaustion - see what you really need first. A quick rest, some water, an apple, then maybe a coffee. How did that steak work for you? Best you've felt all week or like you need another rest? Pay attention Darling, it's where the gold lies.
3. When you are stressed or hurting (physically, mentally, emotionally) ASK yourself what's going on and listen to the answer in case it's some random thing that takes you by surprise. Learn to listen to your deep inner self. Seek medical attention or go to the dentist or whatever needs to happen but first, always first, listen to your body.
4.Lastly, OBSERVE if what's going on belongs to you? This is BIG and weird and can be hard to understand. When is it truly your issue and when does it actually belong to someone else and you are carrying the load for them or inserting yourself where you don't belong?
This is a lifetime of work, we are never done. So my dear friend may you learn to tune out with awareness, consciously choosing it because you want to not because you are unconsciously running from something.
When you learn to truly listen to your body it will bring you home.
Thank you for being here my friend, it means a lot.
xo Donna