Well, Donna. Thanks for the disturbing news that the mullet is making a comeback! I have been a people pleaser along with having a complete aversion to conflict. At 70 yrs old, I am working on it! Ha. I am happy to report that I am having some success. To quote someone "The person you think you SHOULD go for lunch with on Thursday, will be very relieved when you cancel!"
I have been working a lot on not judging or trying to change the uncomfortable feelings in therapy recently, as a way to teach my nervous system that they are safe. We are so quick to dismiss and push them away, but that can often make things worse. I’ve learned that me feelings, like my inner child, just wants to be acknowledged.
Evelyn, thank you for leaving such an insightful comment. We DO have to teach ourselves to honor whatever we’re feeling just as we can learn that those feelings aren’t who we are and won’t last. I guess this is difficult because of the way we were raised and our culture in general - it seems like something that would happen naturally but it doesn’t. 💕
And so easy!! There were very few folks who could pull off the bowl cut but those that could totally rocked it. I'm sure you were one of them Brandon. Thanks for being here💕
Thanks for keeping it real for us Donna. I’m a “pleaser” and working on honouring my needs, with grace. It sounds simple but I battle with the should. I’m getting better but not great, yet. Any tips?
And yes, too many perms over the years. I have finally swapped out the long shag and ponytails for a bob. Loving it right now for skiing and biking. But I still colour my muckleshit brown hair. I tried to go natural but it was depressing.
Di, I don't remember you having many perms but back in the day it was sometimes hard to tell🤣 (for all of us, not just you). I have also been sporting a colored bob which I've enjoyed but now it's time for a change.
I'm not sure if you already saw this post where I briefly address our battle with feeling like we should do something. I am not winning this battle but at least I'm on the playing field and trying to pay attention. It's not easy is it?
Donna, this statement, among many, stood out: “Let’s keep working to navigate our way through this minefield of adulting with grace and aplomb rather than shrinking and should-ing.” Oh, the woes with should-ing.
I had many bad perms too There used to be one called the Stack Perm - OMG! It was the weirdest thing where our hair seemed to go out from our head. Maybe it was named that for a haystack, I don't know, but in retrospect it was hilariously horrible.
Thank you Dee! While writing this piece I was trying to be aware that some folks won’t be very familiar with this kind of mental gymnastics so I appreciate hearing from someone on the other side. You have always faced life full-on and lived it with every ounce of your being and the world is a better place for it. Love you too💕
I had to go and find this quote by Emerson because your piece reminded me of it —
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
It’s so sad how we go against our inner knowing to fit the mold the world tells us to be. And it’s so amazing how hard it is to reconnect to it after years of being lost in the mire. But luckily, your words help, Donna :)
Always brightening up my days with inspiration 🙌
Thank you sweetie! I am looking forward to getting over to Turbo Goth to do some reading💕
Well, Donna. Thanks for the disturbing news that the mullet is making a comeback! I have been a people pleaser along with having a complete aversion to conflict. At 70 yrs old, I am working on it! Ha. I am happy to report that I am having some success. To quote someone "The person you think you SHOULD go for lunch with on Thursday, will be very relieved when you cancel!"
Haha, so true! To quote another person, “This isn’t going to work for me today.” Love that one.
I have been working a lot on not judging or trying to change the uncomfortable feelings in therapy recently, as a way to teach my nervous system that they are safe. We are so quick to dismiss and push them away, but that can often make things worse. I’ve learned that me feelings, like my inner child, just wants to be acknowledged.
Evelyn, thank you for leaving such an insightful comment. We DO have to teach ourselves to honor whatever we’re feeling just as we can learn that those feelings aren’t who we are and won’t last. I guess this is difficult because of the way we were raised and our culture in general - it seems like something that would happen naturally but it doesn’t. 💕
I loved the bowl cut. I know, I know... but I thought it was cool back then.
And so easy!! There were very few folks who could pull off the bowl cut but those that could totally rocked it. I'm sure you were one of them Brandon. Thanks for being here💕
Thanks for keeping it real for us Donna. I’m a “pleaser” and working on honouring my needs, with grace. It sounds simple but I battle with the should. I’m getting better but not great, yet. Any tips?
And yes, too many perms over the years. I have finally swapped out the long shag and ponytails for a bob. Loving it right now for skiing and biking. But I still colour my muckleshit brown hair. I tried to go natural but it was depressing.
Di, I don't remember you having many perms but back in the day it was sometimes hard to tell🤣 (for all of us, not just you). I have also been sporting a colored bob which I've enjoyed but now it's time for a change.
I'm not sure if you already saw this post where I briefly address our battle with feeling like we should do something. I am not winning this battle but at least I'm on the playing field and trying to pay attention. It's not easy is it?
https://donnamcarthur.substack.com/p/how-to-move-past-the-wall-of-conflicting
Donna, this statement, among many, stood out: “Let’s keep working to navigate our way through this minefield of adulting with grace and aplomb rather than shrinking and should-ing.” Oh, the woes with should-ing.
I also chuckled at “muckleshit brown”!
Thank you for your always real self. ❤️
I'm glad you got a chuckle! My mom used to say that was the color of my hair🤣
Moms have quite a way with words for our beloved children!
I love the description of you as a kid. Those awkward years were so fun. Haha.
I had a Jew-fro. Very frizzy, curly hair cut short. I hated my hair. So glad Keratin was discovered.
Yes, I guess the awkward years are universal🤣 For you it was short term pain for long term gain because you have gorgeous hair now!
Love this. Gosh, I realize now I had no guide whatsoever for trusting myself in childhood, but it's a gift to be able to do it now in adulthood.
My hairstyles were so bad. So many bad perms. In high school, I finally leaned into my natural with a straight bob and loved it!
I had many bad perms too There used to be one called the Stack Perm - OMG! It was the weirdest thing where our hair seemed to go out from our head. Maybe it was named that for a haystack, I don't know, but in retrospect it was hilariously horrible.
Muckleshit brown? 😂😂
Donna at 13-16 I had zits, braces, glasses, and unruly nappy hair (see white boy Afro).
And yet I was brimming with reckless self-confidence. Go figure that one out. 🤷🏻♂️
Love your posts and you my friend. 🙏
Thank you Dee! While writing this piece I was trying to be aware that some folks won’t be very familiar with this kind of mental gymnastics so I appreciate hearing from someone on the other side. You have always faced life full-on and lived it with every ounce of your being and the world is a better place for it. Love you too💕
I had to go and find this quote by Emerson because your piece reminded me of it —
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
It’s so sad how we go against our inner knowing to fit the mold the world tells us to be. And it’s so amazing how hard it is to reconnect to it after years of being lost in the mire. But luckily, your words help, Donna :)