They Say Visualization Is Magic, I'm Embarrassed I Can't Do It
In a world of self-help teachers this one WON'T tell you to live your best life
I find visualization tricky. You know that thing the self-help teachers tell us to do to ‘live our best life’?
I know Sweetie, I can see you shaking your head in bewilderment because I AM a self-help teacher. But the thing is, I don’t really buy into the whole ‘best-life’ idea, it seems like a bit of a marketing ploy. All we’ve got is our life and we are doing the best we can, sometimes we can probably do better and other times we might want to cut ourselves some slack.
Anyway, back to visualization — when I try to picture all the things I want to have or do I usually come up empty. So I try harder because all the best life livers tell me I should visualize what I want in my future, the more detailed the better, and if I don’t then how could the Universe possibly deliver?
Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Honeybun, this is a crock of baloney. Visualization itself, for those who can do it, is great because of how it affects our brain. But what is a bunch of gobbledygook is the idea that we need to fully visualize our future so it will happen just as we picture it. Added to that false theory is the built in concept that we may lack ‘success’ without a detailed visual in advance.
I don’t think so.
If, like me, you have trouble with visualization I invite you to read along as I share what I’ve found works for me.
I hit adulthood when New-Agey stuff was beginning to gain momentum – do you remember back in the day of the Celestine Prophecy? I fully embraced a different way of inviting the Divine into my life including, for awhile, making vision boards. However, the fun exercise of pasting pictures of things I desire on a board is very different than being able to SEE my future life. I used to do a short meditation, a lot of prayer and gratitude and lastly try to visualize what I wanted my future to look like and I would draw a blank. I couldn’t SEE it simply because I didn’t KNOW what I wanted.
I understand the concept and value of consistent visualization. It may be like a mental rehearsal that will grow new brain circuits and prime our brain to recognize the familiar in things that come our way in the future, thus paving the way to make it a little easier. The difficulty lies in seeing my life stretching before me and a detailed image of what that looks like. I sense there are many reasons I’m unable to do this, personality type and brain chemistry are part of it. But also, I’ve realized I’ve been trying to see the wrong things.
What if, instead of trying to picture how we want our LIFE to look, we visualize the greatest expression of ourselves?
Best SELF, not best life.
What would that person be like, how would they think and act? Most important, how do they feel? Let us sit with that for a moment.
Shifting my visualization to imagine how I was going to show up in my day as a better version of myself has made a big difference. It helps me have courage to step up, to push to my edge more frequently, and to be less reactive. Most importantly, it feels REAL to me whereas trying to see stuff and experiences does not.
Perhaps holding the image of the highest version of ourselves by simply taking a few moments at the beginning of our day to decide how we are going to show up allows us to sink into the mystery, just a little. This practice may nudge us to accept there are things we cannot yet understand and perhaps the Great Unknown has the ability to help guide us to whatever is for our greatest good, even when we cannot yet see it.
This special prayer by Tosha Silver calls of of this forward and allows us to settle our heart and open to trust. I hope you enjoy it.
“Change me Divine Beloved into One who offers all current mysteries with great ease and joy to You alone. Show me your plan in even the most baffling situations. Take my fears and worries. You alone guide my heart. Let me trust that all actions are shown at the appointed time, and all doors open in the right way and time.
Change me Divine Beloved into One who can comfortably rest in the mystery, knowing all unfolds in the right way and time. May I trust my life will bloom in perfect ways.”
-Tosha Silver, Change Me Prayers
I appreciate your presence, please know that it matters (as do all ❤’s for this essay, it would be awesome if you’d hit the like button because it offers social proof to the dudes who run Substack).
xoxo Donna
P.S. Does visualization come easily to you? Do you have any tools you like to use? I’d love to hear all about your ideas on it in the comments.
One visualization that I was led through something like 23 years ago has always stuck with me, and it aligns with your theory, it led us through visualizing ourself ten years in the future. It was so clear of myself that the absence of a partner in the image felt like a sadness, others in the group all saw future spouses and such. I met my would-be husband in year eleven.💜
I like your thoughts on this, Donna. Don't envision an outcome --envision being your best self.
Visioning, vision boards, and visualization could be great ways to cope with the anxiety of not knowing what the future holds and clarifying one's intentions. They might also lead to overconfidence that dissuades someone from putting in enough effort to achieve a goal. The best designed vision boards can't really account for how much the future actions of other people could stand in the way of achieving our visions.
These are not practices I put much faith in. Tuning into the moment, praying, and being aware of the small subtle signs that tell me if I am moving in the right direction are more important to me.