This is the way to know if we’ve actually changed

for those of us who need proof (insert eye roll!)

I wouldn’t mind if there was some kind of inner growth measuring stick like how we check our height and weight.

I mean, how are we supposed to know if IT’s all working?

All those things we’re supposed to be doing to be the best human we can be - how can we tell if we’re getting anywhere or IT’s just a bunch of hooey?

The Enlightened Ones, (Jesus, The Buddha, Eckhart, Dolly Parton and all the rest) would probably say that by asking this question I’m clearly missing the point. Perhaps they would remind me that personal development, becoming our best self, cannot be about a measurement because it’s all about the joooooooooourney.

I get that, but I also think that intentionally noticing how we’ve grown might help us keep going when we feel stuck.

Some folks seem to think this sign says “Hey you!, Yes you - this parking spot has been made especially for your extra-large RV so pull right in.” 📸Photo by J Dean on Unsplash

I’ve seen this play out in my own life, like the time (does 15 years qualify as ‘a time’?) I would get frustrated with the attitude and interesting maneuvers of visitors to our beautiful valley. Every year they pour in by the thousands and 99.9% of them are beautiful, respectful folks but the 0.1% who show up with a sense of entitlement and general assholiness can be hard to take when they are on vacation and those of us who live and work here are not. This frustrating dynamic had my mind running amok every summer and winter until I finally recognized what I was doing to myself. I spent a season noticing and questioning my thoughts about these folks. Could I absolutely know for sure they were jerks? No, of course not! Lo and behold, with this simple question these judgements began to slip away. I found I could cruise down main street where the driver of an extra-large RV thought they were entitled to park in a spot created for a normal-sized vehicle (even though RV parking is half a block away) effectively creating a bottleneck of traffic on our one main road and it would no longer create a disturbance in my mind. It was a mental miracle!

Just in case you’re like me and are wondering how to tell if IT’s working here’s a little checklist (IT being the inner work to stretch our mind and change our brain which creates a wider perspective and generally makes us more pleasant to be in our own head and for others to hang out with us. Also, please remember I am being a little silly here so let’s just go with it):

• If we’ve stopped blaming other people for what is wrong in our life, we have arrived.

• If we catch ourselves judging someone and then think, “Oof, that’s about me,” we might just be emotionally evolved.

• If we stop trying to fix other people and allow our insides to soften when they irritate us, we’ve reached Level 10 in the Game of Self-Awareness.

• If we can sit in silence without needing to scroll, snack, or escape, we’re one deep breath away from enlightenment.

• If we can listen to feedback without mentally packing our bags for a new life, we’ve achieved advanced human status.

• If we can love the parts of us that used to suck, we are basically the Dalai Lama now.

• If we no longer need to explain, defend, or convince people of our worth, we know inner peace isn’t just a bumper sticker.

• If we can feel anger without sending a three-paragraph text, we’re practically untriggerable. Practically.

Right?! We’ve got this Gorgeous One.

Of course, the best inner growth measuring stick is simply how we feel. Feeling a bit better? Check! Able to sufficiently handle the situation without imploding? Check! This means we’re doing IT.

Carry on Dearest and know that you are loved and appreciated.

xoxo Donna

P.S. Please click the ❤️Lovebug!