33 Comments
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Rodrigo Lopez's avatar

Dear Donna,

Beautiful and wise.

With gratitude,

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Thank you Rodrigo!

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Love this piece and what a great exercise. You gave your younger self a voice and recognition as she still lives within you. 🙏

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Thanks CK! It's amazing how deep one could go with this kind of exercise. I know there are experts, like probably therapists, who go down this path and explore many things but it was amazing what just a few minutes uncovered.

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Michael Edward's avatar

This was fantastic Donna!

I really like the idea of the exercise. And I really enjoyed the way you were both soft and understanding with your younger self. :)

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Donna McArthur's avatar

I'm glad you liked this Michael! I appreciate you using the words soft and understanding because I don't think I was feeling soft in the moment when I was picturing our chat but am glad it came through in the writing. There's no use getting upset with our self - even though we do😞

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Michael Edward's avatar

It definitely came through in the writing. Sometimes that time for hindsight helps.

Yes, it does seem unhelpful, but what can we do, we trying. :)

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Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

I just love this, Donna.

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Thanks so much Dana💕

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Janice Walton's avatar

Hi, what an interesting exercise. I do know that the me of today has by far exceeded the dreams and aspirations of the younger me. The younger me and I did have conversations from time to time. I wonder about everything happening for a reason - I can make a case for it in many regards.

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Janice it is wonderful that you have exceeded the dreams of your younger self - so inspiring! I am going to think about if I have exceeded the dreams of my younger self and, if not, what do I need to do to make that happen.

I can argue both sides of everything happening for a reason which is why I want to have a lot of time to work on that essay!

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Patty Disbrow's avatar

I am constantly searching to connect with my younger selves. I recently was able to find an unborn self and bring it forward into a fetus.

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Well done Patty! I haven't sought out my younger self as much as I would like. She has occasionally dropped in during a meditation or some other kind of mental exercise. It's interesting how comforting it is when she is there, for both of us, so I would like to make more of an effort to hang out with her. Thanks so much for your comment, it's great to see you here❤️

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Mr. Troy Ford's avatar

Love to read your take on this idea, Donna, I've seen a couple other people answer it too and I think it's really interesting. Someday perhaps I'll give it a whirl. Personally I don't feel like the same person as I was when young, and I don't feel young but thousands of years old. 😂 Although I'm not waiting to die, when my time comes, I think I will say "Jesus! Finally I can relax!" 👻 (p.s. I have kissed a girl. Nothing to write home about... 🤪)

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Troy your comment made me laugh so thank you!! I know you are at a time in your life when relaxing is not in the cards and I will remind you that this is just a phase! Your time to have days off will come (hmmm, do famous authors have days off? I'm not sure)!

I hear what you're saying about feeling a thousand years old, I often feel that too. Maybe it's something about the time continuum and it speeding up for some of us.

I'm on the same page as you, I like kissing boys!

Sending so much love❤️❤️

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Evelyn Fox's avatar

What an interesting exercise, and one you did so well. I find I am always trying to cultivate compassion for my younger self - some days that feels impossible. But I do thank her for getting me here, to the right now, to my love and my life.

And I guess, in regards to everything happening for a reason, that I don't know if I think it does. It's like that quote - 'you can only understand a life backwards, but you have to live it forwards'. I don't know if all the things happened to me 'for a reason'. some of them being very bad, this seems a hard pill to swallow. but I can look back on my life and choose to be grateful that these things led me to the now that I live.

Also, I'm very sorry you never got to kiss that girl. It i guess it wasn't 'meant to be'.

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Evelyn, it's lovely to see you here in the comments! I appreciate you taking the time to share such a thoughtful response.❤️

I have found cultivating compassion for my younger self to be difficult, especially my middle-aged younger self. It seems like I can drum up all the love for my child and young adult self but when I get to the truly adulting self it's harder. This is very interesting and deserves further thought. I know some of it is due to distorted perceptions and yet those aren't that easy to suddenly change🤣 This being human is always a work in progress!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts about if everything happens for a reason, I'm looking forward to diving into that piece when life is less hectic.

I wished for many experiences that have not happened, and are very unlikely to. As I get older I can see that this is to be expected. I know my younger self would have been determined to fit in every single thing but it doesn't always work that way.

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Love this Donna. Funnily enough I have also just been drafting a piece like this, which I plan to share later in the month. It's such a rich and useful exercise 😀

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Thanks Vicki, I love that we thought of the same idea and I can't wait to read your piece. It is a valuable exercise that has many layers I am still exploring. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment.

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Dee Rambeau's avatar

Love this Donna. I’ve thought about writing something similar. We’ll see—I’m sure it was challenging and yet fun for you.👏👏

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Thanks Dee, it was very interesting! I was pressed for time when I was writing it but would have liked to explore it more deeply and also involve my older self to see how that went. I hope you try it and write about it.

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Rolando Andrade's avatar

an interesting read. Thanks Donna. Not everything happens for a reason, sometimes our mind plays tricks on us. It's called “cognitive bias”, and it happens when we distort our perception of reality so that it seems less painful to us. For example, if someone we love is suffering a lot and ends up dying, we think that death came about for a reason, that it was the best thing for the person. We don't like to suffer, so we adapt reality in our own way

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Donna McArthur's avatar

You're right Rolando, our inherent cognitive bias is like a double edged sword because sometimes it will keep us safe and other times distort reality as you said. This would be an interesting idea to explore in our collaboration (which I'll touch base about very soon!) so please help me remember! It's early morning here and my remembering mind is not fully awake🤣

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Rolando Andrade's avatar

Hi Donna. Looking forward to our collaboration.

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Tim Ebl 🇨🇦's avatar

An enlightening read. It makes me think that your younger self (mine too) was focused in on a smaller piece of reality and couldn’t see the woods for the tree.

You know what that means. We still have to take another step back so we can see the continent, then the planet, and maybe, the universe?

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Bingo Tim, you nailed it! Many years ago I was reading one of my favorite authors and he wrote about personal growth moving in stages from self to community to world (much more eloquently than that) and, in retrospect, it is very true. That young girl certainly could not see past self.

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Paolo Peralta's avatar

It’s great that we can travel through time and discern with wise perceptions.

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Yes, in one of my more memorable meditations my ten year old and 71 year old selves dropped in and stayed for quite awhile. It was very powerful.

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Wow, this was an interesting meeting of the minds, hey? I don't know if I could meet any of my selves with grace. Certainly not my younger self. I'd just tell her to turn and run the other way because there's nothing useful up here 😆 I laugh but I'm kind of serious, too.

Your story reminds me of the movie "My Old Ass." If you haven't watched it, you should. She is 40 and actually meets her younger self. It's beautiful 😊

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Yes, younger and older are a very interesting meeting of the minds. This exercise was more interesting than I expected. When I considered what she would be feeling and wondering about it brought about a lot of reflection that's for sure. I wanted to take it one more level and talk to my 75 year old self too but I didn't have time, that would be a fascinating layer.

Thanks for the movie suggestions, I haven't seen it so will search it out.

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Paolo Peralta's avatar

Saw that film! It’s a great watch

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Donna McArthur's avatar

I look forward to it.

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