This is such a great piece Donna. Resistance is often part of my change process, especially if the change feels edgy. It feels important to name resistance in this way. As I do I can already feel some of the charge melting. I also relate to eating sweets at a kid to feel differently. Looking forward to reading the previous essays in this series!
Ashley I appreciate you popping over here to check it out and that you found the resistance piece helpful. There is so much to say about the topic of meaningful change that moves us closer to wholenss and your piece on the grief that accompanies it is important. I will remind my readers of that in a future post and send them to that essay.
I love reading where everyone else is at with the issue.
Sugar. That and fast food. It has been such a struggle for me too. When I was about six, I remember my mom making me sweet pekoe tea with lemon in it, and honey or jam sandwiches on white bread. That’s where it started, comfort food in a terrible house. The sugar was my happy thing when the surrounding were unpredictable and scary.
At the moment, I’m free of it. It has been a challenge but it’s water under the bridge, and it’s one of the things I have been writing about lately. Binge eating and sugar was nearly the end of me.
Is it a temporary reprieve, like the smoker who quits for a few years? I don’t think so. I’ve learned tools and made systems in my life that support me. I’m part of a community that understands the issue, and I can talk to someone. And I’m actively supporting others through coaching, so it keeps my eye on the ball. I’m not going on sugar autopilot again.
Tim, thank you so much for sharing this very powerful comment here. Your words 'the sugar autopilot' hit home for me. It's nuts that I've never considered this before even though I teach about sliding into autopilot all the time. Yikes! I simply never thought of it in terms of my sugar use but that's exactly how it goes...a couple bites and BAM! Do you coach others how to get off sugar? I think my readers need to know about that.
I coach people on how to sustain the change they want and need. Most people already know sugar or fast food is not good, and that they should move more, but they don’t know how to make it stick. The truth is, we are all experts on our own bodies and minds, we just need the tools to get there. So I believe in the client led, individualized approach. There’s no one size fits all.
Sugar can be nasty stuff, and the sugar trade is interested in their profits - NOT your health. It destroys teeth, nerves, and a whole host of body bits And - your - your - life. When I was a kid, there was white sugar and sometimes icing sugar or brown sugar..... and there was Sugar Diabetes. Now sugar comes in multiple forms with multiple dishonest names, mixed into most of what you eat...... but the illness is now call simply Diabetes. Britain is now flooded with american candy shops. The people running this trade are as nasty as the product......
Yes the processed food industry is certainly about making foods a cheaply as possible and keeping them on the shelf a long time. Certainly not a recipe for good health.
This is so beautiful and so beautifully honest. What sweetness we move toward to hide from what hurts.
I’ve loved every piece in this series on change. And every week, I might have said, “This is my favorite in this series.” This week is no different. You give us the raw truth with such encouragement and care. You give us hope that change is possible. And what I walk away with from this whole series is that change is possible when we are honest with ourselves. I love the pic! I’m looking forward to the 14th! And next time I reach for something sweet, I’ll be inclined to ask how my heart is.
Let us all ask how are heart is when we are leaning on something❤ This is beautiful and perfect Renee.
There is nothing wrong with needing to occasionally lean on something as long as it's (eventually) accompanied by personal responsibility and transparency. The kind of crutch I'm talking about, as you know, is the kind we use to ignore the underlying issue.
Thank you so much for being here and for your kind words about the Change series. I am glad you found it useful!
You call us into our own inner work--observe, observe, observe--with care.
You show us we can't let ourselves off the hook, but we can offer such tender care when we see all the ways the wily will wants what it wants and when something is just so much to bear that we'll reach for ______ to keep from bearing, and so on. You bring us straight to the heart of self-knowing. Thank you!
Wonderful piece, Donna. As always, very helpful and delivered in a fun way.
I feel that the little addictions like sugar are particularly insidious precisely because we don’t think they’re that bad. And that justification keeps is locked in.
Thank you Michael. When we start to pay attention it's amazing how many brain-altering, addictive substances are part of our 'normal' life. They aren't all bad, like caffeine for example. It can go either way. But sugar and processed garbage are now 'normal' and there's nothing good about it (except how it makes us temporarily feel, of course!).
Love the ski photo! Wow. For those of us who spent break down at street level, it's a treat to have the benefit of a skier's point of view. This series has been wonderful, breaking down the topic of Change into bite-sized pieces in preparation for your presentation. Looking forward to Sunday!
Oh sugar, you gorgeous devil... Really like that line about comfort v. courage, must try to remember that. Now I need to go through all these posts again and prep for 1/14... We did just sign up for Hello Fresh meal service, hoping to cut out a few convenience foods, so easy to get stuck in a rut. Thanks Donna!!! ⭐
They have Hello Fresh in Spain? One thing I liked about that service is not needing to figure out what to make, it conserves brain energy. Oh, and the food was very good too!
Thanks for this Donna 💕 I loved your phrasing about justification being the wingman of resistance - so true! The mind is a powerful thing and can convince us to make choices that provide short term reward (dopamine) which are not always in our best interest in the long run. I appreciate your encouragement to explore the root cause of the desire or craving and courageously sit in the discomfort.
Thanks Sweetie. When we used to get into trouble together, for about 40 years, we were both the wingman of justification with NO resistance🤣. Good thing we didn't land in jail!
Oh sugar...my friend. I don't eat a lot of junk but I do crave a sugar hit after a meal. My kryptonite is Maynards Swedish berries lol. I pop one after dinner but then it's never just one. It's a tough craving to ignore!
Dumped tobacco years ago, then over recent years reduced junk food, alcohol & meat by 95%. Sadly sugar only by 85% because of occasional binges. Fool that I am
Maurice has making these changes affected your well-being dramatically? I have found that to be the case for me and I can't see it being otherwise or why would you/we do it? What was the hardest shift?
Dramatically Donna, absolutely....... seven years ago I felt ill all the time, hardly slept, had a bad temper, forever at the dentist, overweight - 107 Kilos, nearly all that has gone now. I am down to 74 Kilos, am clearer of thought, relaxed and happier. Sugar binging is the last bastion, but I am down from twice daily to once monthly. Peace, Maurice.
I'm the same, needing that sugar hit after a meal. Like all cravings, I know if I wait it out it will pass and eventually go away. However in the moment the struggle is very real!
Bravo Pamela this is HUGE!! We are all cheering for you in your cigarette free life. If you need a little added inspiration I highly recommend reading Allan Carr's The Easy Way to Quit Smoking. A quick and easy read that will solidify your decision. I had so many patients have success with this book that I read it, even though I didn't smoke. I also used his Easy Way to quit drinking when I was getting ready to quit, as well as many other tools.
As Kristi said in her comment, don't worry about any other habit right now. Get super solid on the smoking before you change something else.
I have to check my Kindle I think I might have Allan Carr's book on it. I'm pretty solidified on my decision to quit and had been half-heartedly trying before my surgery. No reason to go back to them now. One bad habit at time is right. And I am running out of bad habits at 67! LOL!
Pamela, I love this, you're running out of bad habits!! This made me grin ear to ear. Very inspiring and gives the rest of us, who are a little behind you, great hope🙂
Take it one vice at a time. Good for you for quitting smoking!! I also quit a few years ago and I've never felt better. Keep going, the sugar can wait!
This was so powerful. I loved imagining little Donna waiting for that candy bar. A great example tho of how we are conditioned at an early age. Sugar is addictive. And the brain will do everything to fight back our desire for change.
That photo! It needs to be blown up, signed and framed. Stunning.
Hi Donna. There was a time when I felt bored most of the day. Boredom is almost like a small pain, but one that never goes away and makes us restless and irritable about everything. For me, being bored is akin to being dead, because I really need stimuli to make me feel that the place we're living in is worth living. I think that's a characteristic of people who are creative and curious
This is fascinating Rolando. Boredom is an emotion I rarely feel. Perhaps if I do I'm not recognizing it, calling it by a different name. Because I can always find something to read that I don't often feel bored. Perhaps, in your boredom, you were being called to something...like write a Substack newsletter! We are glad you are here writing that's for sure.
Thanks Donna. I think boredom sometimes invites me to make changes. The last time I really feel it, I made a compete revolution in my way of working, more exactly the people I worked with, and the places
Oh, dear. You are speaking my language. I lost seventy pounds last year and kept it off all of this year - but it began the slow creep again. I think it was my homemade peanut butter fudge. Everyone loves it, so I made it for Christmas and New Year's Eve. And after I had one, it was like my brain said WHAT THE HELL, IT'S CHRISTMAS! KILL THEM ALL!' But not my relatives, they're fine - I killed all the goodies they brought. Cakes, key lime pies, cookies, chocolate, wine. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. My husband mentioned day before yesterday that I was getting a pudge above the waistband of my size 10 jeans that I worked like a DOG to get into. And I got super angry. Then I realized it was the sugar talking through my mouth, Sugar is threatened by my husband's mastery. ;) So for the last two days it's pork chops, steak, sauerkraut, avocadoes and a little pineapple. The sugar voice is growing weaker - like the Witch after Dorothy threw the water. What a world, what a world.
I'm very glad it was only the baking you killed🤣, I wouldn't want you to be writing this from jail! Sugar is like drugs or alcohol for those of us who are susceptible to its charms - we can't even have one bite or it unleashes the dragon.
I got the chills when you wrote that it was the sugar talking through your mouth! I have had this happen hundreds of times and then there are a thousand more that I didn't recognize.
Fraulein Zen, WELL DONE working hard to lose 70 pounds, that is amazing! You know how much better you feel with that kind of healthy lifestyle and that you got through Christmas without being arrested so it's all getting better from here!
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, I appreciate it!❤
I read Steven Pressfield’s book “Do the Work” recently and he literally personifies Resistance in such a powerful way. It helped me understand it better as a “thing.”
Carry on my fine friend. Love the ski shot BTW I miss those vistas from the slopes ❤️
Dee, thanks for the reminder of his book, I haven't read it yet, although I listened to some podcasts when he was on tour for it. I love The War of Art so will pick up Do the Work soon.
Glad you like the snow pic, just as I love your Texas (and doggie) scenes!
Tobias, I appreciate the restack. I can’t wait to do a dive into the other posts you have restacked, as well as your own. Fascinating stuff!
This is such a great piece Donna. Resistance is often part of my change process, especially if the change feels edgy. It feels important to name resistance in this way. As I do I can already feel some of the charge melting. I also relate to eating sweets at a kid to feel differently. Looking forward to reading the previous essays in this series!
Ashley I appreciate you popping over here to check it out and that you found the resistance piece helpful. There is so much to say about the topic of meaningful change that moves us closer to wholenss and your piece on the grief that accompanies it is important. I will remind my readers of that in a future post and send them to that essay.
I love reading where everyone else is at with the issue.
Sugar. That and fast food. It has been such a struggle for me too. When I was about six, I remember my mom making me sweet pekoe tea with lemon in it, and honey or jam sandwiches on white bread. That’s where it started, comfort food in a terrible house. The sugar was my happy thing when the surrounding were unpredictable and scary.
At the moment, I’m free of it. It has been a challenge but it’s water under the bridge, and it’s one of the things I have been writing about lately. Binge eating and sugar was nearly the end of me.
Is it a temporary reprieve, like the smoker who quits for a few years? I don’t think so. I’ve learned tools and made systems in my life that support me. I’m part of a community that understands the issue, and I can talk to someone. And I’m actively supporting others through coaching, so it keeps my eye on the ball. I’m not going on sugar autopilot again.
Tim, thank you so much for sharing this very powerful comment here. Your words 'the sugar autopilot' hit home for me. It's nuts that I've never considered this before even though I teach about sliding into autopilot all the time. Yikes! I simply never thought of it in terms of my sugar use but that's exactly how it goes...a couple bites and BAM! Do you coach others how to get off sugar? I think my readers need to know about that.
I coach people on how to sustain the change they want and need. Most people already know sugar or fast food is not good, and that they should move more, but they don’t know how to make it stick. The truth is, we are all experts on our own bodies and minds, we just need the tools to get there. So I believe in the client led, individualized approach. There’s no one size fits all.
Sugar can be nasty stuff, and the sugar trade is interested in their profits - NOT your health. It destroys teeth, nerves, and a whole host of body bits And - your - your - life. When I was a kid, there was white sugar and sometimes icing sugar or brown sugar..... and there was Sugar Diabetes. Now sugar comes in multiple forms with multiple dishonest names, mixed into most of what you eat...... but the illness is now call simply Diabetes. Britain is now flooded with american candy shops. The people running this trade are as nasty as the product......
Yes the processed food industry is certainly about making foods a cheaply as possible and keeping them on the shelf a long time. Certainly not a recipe for good health.
Hi Donna - How do we access the live presentation? xo
Thanks for your interest Troy. I'll send out a Zoom link on January 12 and again in the morning before it begins.
Donna,
This is so beautiful and so beautifully honest. What sweetness we move toward to hide from what hurts.
I’ve loved every piece in this series on change. And every week, I might have said, “This is my favorite in this series.” This week is no different. You give us the raw truth with such encouragement and care. You give us hope that change is possible. And what I walk away with from this whole series is that change is possible when we are honest with ourselves. I love the pic! I’m looking forward to the 14th! And next time I reach for something sweet, I’ll be inclined to ask how my heart is.
Let us all ask how are heart is when we are leaning on something❤ This is beautiful and perfect Renee.
There is nothing wrong with needing to occasionally lean on something as long as it's (eventually) accompanied by personal responsibility and transparency. The kind of crutch I'm talking about, as you know, is the kind we use to ignore the underlying issue.
Thank you so much for being here and for your kind words about the Change series. I am glad you found it useful!
Donna,
This is what I love about your work.
You call us into our own inner work--observe, observe, observe--with care.
You show us we can't let ourselves off the hook, but we can offer such tender care when we see all the ways the wily will wants what it wants and when something is just so much to bear that we'll reach for ______ to keep from bearing, and so on. You bring us straight to the heart of self-knowing. Thank you!
Well this is wonderful because I have recently come into my new tagline, which is:
Find your inner wisdom. Have the courage to follow it.
I am feeling this deep into my bones so I know it's the right one!
Thank you so much Renee.
Donna,
Your tagline found you! It's deep in your bones, and so right, and a gift to the world.
Much love,
Renée
Wonderful piece, Donna. As always, very helpful and delivered in a fun way.
I feel that the little addictions like sugar are particularly insidious precisely because we don’t think they’re that bad. And that justification keeps is locked in.
delete little insert gross....
Thank you Michael. When we start to pay attention it's amazing how many brain-altering, addictive substances are part of our 'normal' life. They aren't all bad, like caffeine for example. It can go either way. But sugar and processed garbage are now 'normal' and there's nothing good about it (except how it makes us temporarily feel, of course!).
Coffee is one of the only addictive substances that still has ahold of me. And I have no plans of parting with it haha.
Thanks Donna :)
Me either! However, I just stopped putting sweetener (maple syrup) in my coffee and tea. Yay!
Nice Donna :)
Yeah it’s been black coffee for me, for a while now, and I’ve come to love it.
Love the ski photo! Wow. For those of us who spent break down at street level, it's a treat to have the benefit of a skier's point of view. This series has been wonderful, breaking down the topic of Change into bite-sized pieces in preparation for your presentation. Looking forward to Sunday!
Thank you so much Tara, this means a lot.
Oh sugar, you gorgeous devil... Really like that line about comfort v. courage, must try to remember that. Now I need to go through all these posts again and prep for 1/14... We did just sign up for Hello Fresh meal service, hoping to cut out a few convenience foods, so easy to get stuck in a rut. Thanks Donna!!! ⭐
They have Hello Fresh in Spain? One thing I liked about that service is not needing to figure out what to make, it conserves brain energy. Oh, and the food was very good too!
Yes, we'll see whether the recipes are in English. We don't love all the packaging but we need a little boost/help. :)
Wow, amazing it's over there too. I know what you mean about the packaging, we felt the same. We tried to make up for it in other ways.
Thanks for this Donna 💕 I loved your phrasing about justification being the wingman of resistance - so true! The mind is a powerful thing and can convince us to make choices that provide short term reward (dopamine) which are not always in our best interest in the long run. I appreciate your encouragement to explore the root cause of the desire or craving and courageously sit in the discomfort.
Thanks Sweetie. When we used to get into trouble together, for about 40 years, we were both the wingman of justification with NO resistance🤣. Good thing we didn't land in jail!
Ha ha. So true!
Oh sugar...my friend. I don't eat a lot of junk but I do crave a sugar hit after a meal. My kryptonite is Maynards Swedish berries lol. I pop one after dinner but then it's never just one. It's a tough craving to ignore!
Dumped tobacco years ago, then over recent years reduced junk food, alcohol & meat by 95%. Sadly sugar only by 85% because of occasional binges. Fool that I am
Maurice has making these changes affected your well-being dramatically? I have found that to be the case for me and I can't see it being otherwise or why would you/we do it? What was the hardest shift?
Dramatically Donna, absolutely....... seven years ago I felt ill all the time, hardly slept, had a bad temper, forever at the dentist, overweight - 107 Kilos, nearly all that has gone now. I am down to 74 Kilos, am clearer of thought, relaxed and happier. Sugar binging is the last bastion, but I am down from twice daily to once monthly. Peace, Maurice.
Well done!
I'm the same, needing that sugar hit after a meal. Like all cravings, I know if I wait it out it will pass and eventually go away. However in the moment the struggle is very real!
Sugar is addicting, like nicotine, alcohol, drugs. I am just 5 weeks in from quitting cigarettes. At some point the sugar needs to go too!
don't wait too long.....
Bravo Pamela this is HUGE!! We are all cheering for you in your cigarette free life. If you need a little added inspiration I highly recommend reading Allan Carr's The Easy Way to Quit Smoking. A quick and easy read that will solidify your decision. I had so many patients have success with this book that I read it, even though I didn't smoke. I also used his Easy Way to quit drinking when I was getting ready to quit, as well as many other tools.
As Kristi said in her comment, don't worry about any other habit right now. Get super solid on the smoking before you change something else.
I have to check my Kindle I think I might have Allan Carr's book on it. I'm pretty solidified on my decision to quit and had been half-heartedly trying before my surgery. No reason to go back to them now. One bad habit at time is right. And I am running out of bad habits at 67! LOL!
Pamela, I love this, you're running out of bad habits!! This made me grin ear to ear. Very inspiring and gives the rest of us, who are a little behind you, great hope🙂
Donna, I don't know if I want to let all of my bad habits go... A girl, no matter age she is, still has to have some fun!
I wholeheartedly agree Pamela!
Take it one vice at a time. Good for you for quitting smoking!! I also quit a few years ago and I've never felt better. Keep going, the sugar can wait!
Big hurdle for me, the cigs. Quit for 4 years and then started again in 2018. This is it this time. 👏
Yeah it took a few tries for me as well. The good thing is you already know you can do it!
Yes, I know I can and I am so glad I am 5 weeks cig free as of today!
This was so powerful. I loved imagining little Donna waiting for that candy bar. A great example tho of how we are conditioned at an early age. Sugar is addictive. And the brain will do everything to fight back our desire for change.
That photo! It needs to be blown up, signed and framed. Stunning.
CK, I'm glad you like the picture. It's amazing what you can quickly snap with an iphone in the right conditions because I am not a photographer.
I'm glad you found this post powerful. That's a good word to use in the same sentence as sugar.
Hi Donna. There was a time when I felt bored most of the day. Boredom is almost like a small pain, but one that never goes away and makes us restless and irritable about everything. For me, being bored is akin to being dead, because I really need stimuli to make me feel that the place we're living in is worth living. I think that's a characteristic of people who are creative and curious
This is fascinating Rolando. Boredom is an emotion I rarely feel. Perhaps if I do I'm not recognizing it, calling it by a different name. Because I can always find something to read that I don't often feel bored. Perhaps, in your boredom, you were being called to something...like write a Substack newsletter! We are glad you are here writing that's for sure.
Thanks Donna. I think boredom sometimes invites me to make changes. The last time I really feel it, I made a compete revolution in my way of working, more exactly the people I worked with, and the places
Oh, dear. You are speaking my language. I lost seventy pounds last year and kept it off all of this year - but it began the slow creep again. I think it was my homemade peanut butter fudge. Everyone loves it, so I made it for Christmas and New Year's Eve. And after I had one, it was like my brain said WHAT THE HELL, IT'S CHRISTMAS! KILL THEM ALL!' But not my relatives, they're fine - I killed all the goodies they brought. Cakes, key lime pies, cookies, chocolate, wine. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. My husband mentioned day before yesterday that I was getting a pudge above the waistband of my size 10 jeans that I worked like a DOG to get into. And I got super angry. Then I realized it was the sugar talking through my mouth, Sugar is threatened by my husband's mastery. ;) So for the last two days it's pork chops, steak, sauerkraut, avocadoes and a little pineapple. The sugar voice is growing weaker - like the Witch after Dorothy threw the water. What a world, what a world.
I'm very glad it was only the baking you killed🤣, I wouldn't want you to be writing this from jail! Sugar is like drugs or alcohol for those of us who are susceptible to its charms - we can't even have one bite or it unleashes the dragon.
I got the chills when you wrote that it was the sugar talking through your mouth! I have had this happen hundreds of times and then there are a thousand more that I didn't recognize.
Fraulein Zen, WELL DONE working hard to lose 70 pounds, that is amazing! You know how much better you feel with that kind of healthy lifestyle and that you got through Christmas without being arrested so it's all getting better from here!
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, I appreciate it!❤
Oof sugar 😳
I read Steven Pressfield’s book “Do the Work” recently and he literally personifies Resistance in such a powerful way. It helped me understand it better as a “thing.”
Carry on my fine friend. Love the ski shot BTW I miss those vistas from the slopes ❤️
Dee, thanks for the reminder of his book, I haven't read it yet, although I listened to some podcasts when he was on tour for it. I love The War of Art so will pick up Do the Work soon.
Glad you like the snow pic, just as I love your Texas (and doggie) scenes!