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Mr. Troy Ford's avatar

This was a great reminder, Donna. I'm going to say that one of the hardest parts of being me is the huge disconnect between who I am when I'm by myself, quiet, thinking and who I am when I go out in the world - even taking the dog for the walk on the beach on a sunny day, I'm not really relaxed - there's an "on guard" quality that sometimes sees me saying dumb things that I don't believe. Maybe there's a happy middle in my online writing life, where I have time and space to consider and (mostly) get it right, but as time goes on, I've also come to accept that my neurodivergent self has a hard time with peopling and social stuff. 🩵

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Donna McArthur's avatar

I don't know much about neurodivergence but I would think the recognition of how you are around people is a huge part of managing it. I know the acceptance piece is not easy for anyone, especially after we say something we kinda regret. It's like your whole system is a finely tuned barometer for what works best for you. This is fascinating in the face of addiction because, as you already know, so often we turn to substances to be able to cope in the outside world and tune out our need to go hide.

Writing, and our Substack community, offers a wonderful middle ground I think. We are able to create deeper relationships here and I like to imagine that if we met IRL there would be an innate sense of ease where each of us, or whoever is involved, is fully seen and accepted as is.

Thank you Troy for taking the time to read and comment on my post. I appreciate it. You are so busy with many exciting things going on (yay!) so please know that I know you are here even if you don't get to it❤️

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Thaissa Lara's avatar

I’m always amazed by how much you convey with such simplicity, Donna. Your writing never fails to resonate with me—especially today, when I could really use a hug. I felt the warmth radiating from your words. Sending love and respect, always. Xx

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Thank you Thaissa, I am sending you a hug from across the world❤️ xoxo

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Thaissa Lara's avatar

Holding you in gentle thoughts—hope you’re on the mend, dear.

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Thank you so much, it’s been a slog.

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

I love this reminder, delightfully delivered :)

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Thank you Isabel❤️

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Michael Edward's avatar

I don’t remember ever reading this one, but I really enjoyed it. Especially the way you revealed that you were the hungover teacher that was a great surprise delivery, Donna.

Glad you pulled this one out of the archives, and I hope you’re feeling better. :)

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Thanks Michael. I've been thinking about you a lot recently and hope everything is going well. Drop me a line if you ever want to chat.💕

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Michael Edward's avatar

Thank you, Donna. As always, I am amazed and grateful for your support. Things are getting better, slowly (at roughly the same rate that lower back issues improve haha). But the point is they are getting better.

And while it probably seems strange for the offer to be extended the other way (since you’re the wise healer and all) if you ever want to chat I, too, am only a line away. :)

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Donna McArthur's avatar

I'm so glad things are slowly improving!!

I think you know me well enough now to know I'm not a wise healer, I'm just slogging it out like everyone else with a little more experience (age🤣) under my belt, but thanks for your kind offer.

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Michael Edward's avatar

You know who else eschewed the complements that they were wise, Donna? … Socrates. So, it seems, you’re in good company :)

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Donna McArthur's avatar

I am smiling that you even know that! You are a true philosopher, it’s awesome.

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Michael Edward's avatar

I try :)

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Rosemary Lodge's avatar

Enjoyed this piece again, Donna - thanks for sharing even though you were so sick! It made me think of the Walt Whitman quote “Keep your face always toward the sunshine ~ and shadows will fall behind you”. We can keep this in mind as we accept that we are flawed and complex (human), but if we keep our focus on our journey of positive growth, those shadows, while still there, won't get in our way forward!

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Thank you Sweetie❤️❤️

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Janice Walton's avatar

I hope that you are feeling much better.

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Thanks Janice❤️

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Paolo Peralta's avatar

Lovely

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Donna McArthur's avatar

😘❤️

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Hope you’re feeling better. 🙏 And yet you still managed to write a wonderful essay. 👏👏

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Thanks Hon, I’m getting there. I pulled this essay from the archive, it’s one I wrote a couple years ago because I couldn’t string two words together!

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Sorry I missed that. The piece was fresh to me. Better today?

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Dee Rambeau's avatar

Love this Donna. Thanks so much for the remainder as I’m wiping my nose bleed from beating myself up again 🙄

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Donna McArthur's avatar

I get it buddy, constant reminders needed🤣 Me too!

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Becky Allen's avatar

Dear Donna--nailed it. I read your piece while sneezing, coughing, and bleary-eyed from the energy drain a very common cold has engineered. I resonate with most every particle of your story up to and especially the PS. I'm also especially appreciative that you mustered the wherewithal to show up here today. Kudos, sister.

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Thanks Becky❤️ RIght back at you - your presence here is appreciated especially when you're not feeling it either. Get well my friend.

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Becky Allen's avatar

Workin' on it; reading your piece helps--sharing your journey gave me a lift. 💖

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