I'm right there with you, Donna - writing on this platform has been a huge exercise in overcoming fear, and I'm about to launch a big project that at moments I've said to myself "Holy crap, what the hell are you doing?" I've decided to take it as a sign that I'm headed in the right direction... ;) xo
Troy, I can't wait to see, or hear, about your big project! I agree, that 'Holy crap' sensation is very likely a sign you are right on track, living between fear and excitement.
My apologies for such a late response - your comment means a lot to me - but life got away on me for a couple of days❤
I'm sending you vibes right this very second for your awesome project.
A very insightful post, Donna. I feel as though this is a wonderful description of how fear crops up in different ways and how we can catch it before it impedes us from following our path.
Also thanks for the shout out, I’m glad our convo in the comments was fruitful :)
Procrastination has always been my biggest challenge. Even when I was a university student, I was writing my term paper the night before it was due even though I had three weeks in which to write it! And now, I have to make an effort not to put something off just because I dread doing whatever needs doing. Cheers to continually being a work in progress! 😉
Mackenzie I appreciate you taking the time to comment here because I think you bring up a point that hits home for so many of us - putting off that thing we dread doing. I plan to go into this a little more because it can be so difficult to discern if we are procrastinating because this is the wrong path for us or because we're trying to distract ourselves from doing something challenging that feels scary in the moment. One points us in one direction and the other takes us the opposite way and sometimes they feel the same (just to keep life interesting🤣)
Hi Donna, I read your post this morning while subconsciously procrastinating packing my suitcase for a work trip I’m leaving for this afternoon. I always procrastinate packing and have just dismissed it as “I hate packing”. Your post made me realize there may be something more to it. As I peeled back the layers I realized that I’m resisting a change in my routine. I’m almost addicted to my routine and fearful of how my body and mind will react when I’m off of it. Not sure where exactly to take it from here, but awareness is the first step to growth! Thank you for your sharing!
Ginger, I think you accidentally landed in my life! This is exactly what I do when it comes to packing and I've been working to excavate what's behind it. I think you nailed it about the routine. Perhaps it will help us to remember that we will age with greater vitality when we can soften our grip on it and open to allowing things to unfold. Not easy but important.
I appreciate you taking the time to comment - I'm looking at it as a sign from the Universe😉
I felt so much of everything you wrote here Donna. Specially because last night when I was in the middle of an intense 'self-sabotage' conversation with my mind, I noticed how easy it was for me to numb those feelings via mindlessly scrolling on my phone.
I think step 1 is definitely awareness of this trait, which you have done a great job in explaining to us. Secondly, having moments of realisation where you are actually doubting yourself like I was last night really helps in taking immediate action. It's all about building self-awareness slowly and steadily.
I'm so glad you found this piece useful Mansi. You're right, self-awareness tends to come slowly with practice. First we need the information, then we make the effort to excavate what's going on inside and from there we can discern a little more easily when we go off track and course correct. I'm still practicing🤣
Thanks so much for your insightful comment. I appreciate that you brought up mindless scrolling because it's SO easy to get lost doing that.
Well this makes me feel very seen Donna! I am the queen of distraction, my favourite being, I will just nip to the toilet. In the hope that whatever it is I'm being asked to face will have gone away by the time I get back. A big lesson for me is that it doesn't matter how much you grow you'll go through the same stages and it's the awareness and self-kindness that will carry you through on calmer waters.
Oh Louise this gave me a chuckle. My brother was the king of nipping to the toilet every night when it came time to clear the table and do the dishes. He would take forever and the dishes would magically be done when he got back! What a scoundrel.
You make such a good point that no matter how much we grow and do the work we will be called to these stages. I think the thing is that the more we practice the easier it becomes to see how worthwhile it is to make the effort to surrender.
I will think about your timely notes on fear and resistance when I decide whether to hit Publish tomorrow morning on the post I wrote today, different from what I had planned. Being a bit under the weather feels like having a sprung compass. But maybe it’s always sprung. :-)
Ah Sweetie, cut yourself some slack if you're not feeling good. You carry a lot on your plate. One of my teachers used to tell me when I was tired and run down that feeling rough helped to strip away my defenses, allowing the Universal force to take over because my thinking mind was less active. So perhaps at the same time you're feeling sprung there are other forces at play in your work.
It's true, very true. It feels like a gift sometimes to be sprung. I snuck the post off this morning while the mental gymnastics were having a snooze. Thank you for the good wishes! 🙏
Shared a rented workshop with a Pal of mine who had big ambitions but never got started. I wanted to help, spoke to him about procrastination, which he denied for so long I only got half a days work done. Three times I fell for it...
Oh Maurice I have been in that exact position! It's interesting to watch ourselves do this. I find it easy to see the issue in others and much harder in myself so I'm working on it. I'm learning, and going to write about, how to let go of control and this is a perfect example of allowing your friend to keep on being himself because that's what he's going to do anyway (but it's hard to stand by and watch it!).
Thank you so much for sharing this story, to which we can all relate. I appreciate you being here.
Yeah, it's about taking what you think you know, applying it to others and calm evaluation of responses. Hopefully both learn, see patterns, perform in peace, Maurice
I received your words at just the right time. Thank you for putting them out there for the rest of us to contemplate, learn & grow from. Personally I’m a big procrastinator/justifier. You’re right Jenna’s words capture that feeling of self doubt well, “powerlessness in the unknown.”
Krissy, if you feel this post arrived at just the right time (yay, I'm so glad!) perhaps it means your higher self is gearing up for something more awesome than you can imagine. I don't mean this in a saccharine, placating way - rather that you took the time to read it and comment (thank you SO much for that❤) and it resonated with something deep in your soul. It's like a signal saying 'oh yeah I'm ready'! How exciting. xoxo
Your reflections on self-sabotage and resistance are insightful. It’s interesting how fear of the unknown can lead us to undermine our own progress. I’m personally looking forward to your next essay on overcoming resistance!
Mo, I am so glad you found my words meaningful and I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me. I find it fascinating how we humans work to control the situation and will often do anything to turn away from our fear. All we can do is show up fully with this understanding and peel off another layer of useless beliefs (I know, it sounds easy and is far from it!).
My stomach lets me know when I’m resisting something or in a state of fear. I’m lucky or unlucky that way depending on how you look at it. I’m eating the right foods so when I get a stomach ache I know there is something I need to be aware of. If I can’t figure it out consciously meditation usually helps.
My stomach is my radar too. What I find interesting is when I feel it there and know something is up but I don't know what. Often I've found that means something is coming (yikes) and it's not until after the fact I can recognize it. I am going to work harder at doing what you do, and consciously slow down and sit with it more often.
I am so glad you like this post and that you're here. Time for a catch up soon❤
There is a special place in heaven for writers who take the time to create an actual book and, because of this, I sense the resistance must be greater. The same goes for musicians and poets and all those lovely creatives. Wishing you all the best as you fly over this hurdle. Just because you're aware of the resistance doesn't mean it's easier right?! Hang in there.
I'm curious if you've read Rick Rubin's book, Rolando? You might love it!
Jeremy, I am doing a happy dance over here! We've got to help each other don't we? Wishing you well and thank you so much for dropping in here with a comment, I appreciate it.
Jenni, thank you for reading this today and even more, for taking the time to drop into the comments section. I am so glad you found something useful in my words. xoxo
I loved every bit of this. I enjoyed your wisdom thoroughly. This piece was just the perfect, most balanced read in terms of feeling human and beautifully foreign. As someone who’s battling through the resistance phase of life, this was just that extra push I was fishing the world for.
Thank you for actually brightening up my side of the bed.
Zoya, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words! It is my deepest wish that my written (or occasionally spoken) words go out and land in the hearts of those who want and need them so I am very glad they found you today❤❤
While it may sound a bit woo, I notice that if I don't truly want something related to work, specifically, the Universe steps in and removes it. This takes the form of opportunities that I was dreading falling through...clients who I didn't actually want to work with cancelling last minute...Nature intervening with snow storms, etc. I brushed it off for a long while. Now, when I deeply don't want to do something work related, I more than halfway expect the Universe will remove it from my schedule.
I am about the science but I am much MORE about the woo so I love your comment Dana! It's fascinating to notice this happening, it's as if we are being held by that thing that is greater than us. We know we can let go and it will turn out as it should. As I move through my years and keep practicing this I see how it can become easier to allow things to unfold. I'm going to try paying closer attention to those things I don't want to do and see what happens.
Thank you for dropping into my comments section, I appreciate it!
I'm right there with you, Donna - writing on this platform has been a huge exercise in overcoming fear, and I'm about to launch a big project that at moments I've said to myself "Holy crap, what the hell are you doing?" I've decided to take it as a sign that I'm headed in the right direction... ;) xo
Troy, I can't wait to see, or hear, about your big project! I agree, that 'Holy crap' sensation is very likely a sign you are right on track, living between fear and excitement.
My apologies for such a late response - your comment means a lot to me - but life got away on me for a couple of days❤
I'm sending you vibes right this very second for your awesome project.
Thank you my dear, and no worries - you'll see the big announcement tomorrow :)
A very insightful post, Donna. I feel as though this is a wonderful description of how fear crops up in different ways and how we can catch it before it impedes us from following our path.
Also thanks for the shout out, I’m glad our convo in the comments was fruitful :)
Thanks for being here Michael, you are a shining star in my Substack universe!
⭐️ 🙃❤️
Procrastination has always been my biggest challenge. Even when I was a university student, I was writing my term paper the night before it was due even though I had three weeks in which to write it! And now, I have to make an effort not to put something off just because I dread doing whatever needs doing. Cheers to continually being a work in progress! 😉
Mackenzie I appreciate you taking the time to comment here because I think you bring up a point that hits home for so many of us - putting off that thing we dread doing. I plan to go into this a little more because it can be so difficult to discern if we are procrastinating because this is the wrong path for us or because we're trying to distract ourselves from doing something challenging that feels scary in the moment. One points us in one direction and the other takes us the opposite way and sometimes they feel the same (just to keep life interesting🤣)
Hi Donna, I read your post this morning while subconsciously procrastinating packing my suitcase for a work trip I’m leaving for this afternoon. I always procrastinate packing and have just dismissed it as “I hate packing”. Your post made me realize there may be something more to it. As I peeled back the layers I realized that I’m resisting a change in my routine. I’m almost addicted to my routine and fearful of how my body and mind will react when I’m off of it. Not sure where exactly to take it from here, but awareness is the first step to growth! Thank you for your sharing!
Ginger, I think you accidentally landed in my life! This is exactly what I do when it comes to packing and I've been working to excavate what's behind it. I think you nailed it about the routine. Perhaps it will help us to remember that we will age with greater vitality when we can soften our grip on it and open to allowing things to unfold. Not easy but important.
I appreciate you taking the time to comment - I'm looking at it as a sign from the Universe😉
Wishing you safe travels.
“Open to allowing things to unfold”. YES!!!
I felt so much of everything you wrote here Donna. Specially because last night when I was in the middle of an intense 'self-sabotage' conversation with my mind, I noticed how easy it was for me to numb those feelings via mindlessly scrolling on my phone.
I think step 1 is definitely awareness of this trait, which you have done a great job in explaining to us. Secondly, having moments of realisation where you are actually doubting yourself like I was last night really helps in taking immediate action. It's all about building self-awareness slowly and steadily.
Love that you talked about it. Thank you!
I'm so glad you found this piece useful Mansi. You're right, self-awareness tends to come slowly with practice. First we need the information, then we make the effort to excavate what's going on inside and from there we can discern a little more easily when we go off track and course correct. I'm still practicing🤣
Thanks so much for your insightful comment. I appreciate that you brought up mindless scrolling because it's SO easy to get lost doing that.
I am still practising too. It’s not as easy as it sounds right? I hope we are able to navigate this as smoothly as possible
Sending love ✨
Well this makes me feel very seen Donna! I am the queen of distraction, my favourite being, I will just nip to the toilet. In the hope that whatever it is I'm being asked to face will have gone away by the time I get back. A big lesson for me is that it doesn't matter how much you grow you'll go through the same stages and it's the awareness and self-kindness that will carry you through on calmer waters.
Oh Louise this gave me a chuckle. My brother was the king of nipping to the toilet every night when it came time to clear the table and do the dishes. He would take forever and the dishes would magically be done when he got back! What a scoundrel.
You make such a good point that no matter how much we grow and do the work we will be called to these stages. I think the thing is that the more we practice the easier it becomes to see how worthwhile it is to make the effort to surrender.
I will think about your timely notes on fear and resistance when I decide whether to hit Publish tomorrow morning on the post I wrote today, different from what I had planned. Being a bit under the weather feels like having a sprung compass. But maybe it’s always sprung. :-)
Ah Sweetie, cut yourself some slack if you're not feeling good. You carry a lot on your plate. One of my teachers used to tell me when I was tired and run down that feeling rough helped to strip away my defenses, allowing the Universal force to take over because my thinking mind was less active. So perhaps at the same time you're feeling sprung there are other forces at play in your work.
May you be well❤
It's true, very true. It feels like a gift sometimes to be sprung. I snuck the post off this morning while the mental gymnastics were having a snooze. Thank you for the good wishes! 🙏
Shared a rented workshop with a Pal of mine who had big ambitions but never got started. I wanted to help, spoke to him about procrastination, which he denied for so long I only got half a days work done. Three times I fell for it...
Oh Maurice I have been in that exact position! It's interesting to watch ourselves do this. I find it easy to see the issue in others and much harder in myself so I'm working on it. I'm learning, and going to write about, how to let go of control and this is a perfect example of allowing your friend to keep on being himself because that's what he's going to do anyway (but it's hard to stand by and watch it!).
Thank you so much for sharing this story, to which we can all relate. I appreciate you being here.
Yeah, it's about taking what you think you know, applying it to others and calm evaluation of responses. Hopefully both learn, see patterns, perform in peace, Maurice
Thank you! I love 'perform in peace'.
I received your words at just the right time. Thank you for putting them out there for the rest of us to contemplate, learn & grow from. Personally I’m a big procrastinator/justifier. You’re right Jenna’s words capture that feeling of self doubt well, “powerlessness in the unknown.”
Krissy, if you feel this post arrived at just the right time (yay, I'm so glad!) perhaps it means your higher self is gearing up for something more awesome than you can imagine. I don't mean this in a saccharine, placating way - rather that you took the time to read it and comment (thank you SO much for that❤) and it resonated with something deep in your soul. It's like a signal saying 'oh yeah I'm ready'! How exciting. xoxo
Your reflections on self-sabotage and resistance are insightful. It’s interesting how fear of the unknown can lead us to undermine our own progress. I’m personally looking forward to your next essay on overcoming resistance!
Mo, I am so glad you found my words meaningful and I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me. I find it fascinating how we humans work to control the situation and will often do anything to turn away from our fear. All we can do is show up fully with this understanding and peel off another layer of useless beliefs (I know, it sounds easy and is far from it!).
Thank you for being here.
My stomach lets me know when I’m resisting something or in a state of fear. I’m lucky or unlucky that way depending on how you look at it. I’m eating the right foods so when I get a stomach ache I know there is something I need to be aware of. If I can’t figure it out consciously meditation usually helps.
Wonderful piece!
My stomach is my radar too. What I find interesting is when I feel it there and know something is up but I don't know what. Often I've found that means something is coming (yikes) and it's not until after the fact I can recognize it. I am going to work harder at doing what you do, and consciously slow down and sit with it more often.
I am so glad you like this post and that you're here. Time for a catch up soon❤
Great stomachs think alike. Hehe.
Would love to catch up. 🙏🥰
Thanks for your posts, which are always thoughtful lessons.
At the moment I'm fighting resistance and also a certain fear in relation to two tasks:
- finishing my book
- finishing a chapter of another book I'm the author of
Thank you for your words
There is a special place in heaven for writers who take the time to create an actual book and, because of this, I sense the resistance must be greater. The same goes for musicians and poets and all those lovely creatives. Wishing you all the best as you fly over this hurdle. Just because you're aware of the resistance doesn't mean it's easier right?! Hang in there.
I'm curious if you've read Rick Rubin's book, Rolando? You might love it!
Thanks Donna. I didn't read Rick book. I will try to check it
Thank you for this reflection, Donna. I am facing my resistance head on right now and your words are wind beneath my wings. 🙏🪽
Jeremy, I am doing a happy dance over here! We've got to help each other don't we? Wishing you well and thank you so much for dropping in here with a comment, I appreciate it.
yes we do! thanks again and my pleasure! <3
Thanks for writing this! Really needed it today 💕
Jenni, thank you for reading this today and even more, for taking the time to drop into the comments section. I am so glad you found something useful in my words. xoxo
I loved every bit of this. I enjoyed your wisdom thoroughly. This piece was just the perfect, most balanced read in terms of feeling human and beautifully foreign. As someone who’s battling through the resistance phase of life, this was just that extra push I was fishing the world for.
Thank you for actually brightening up my side of the bed.
Zoya, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words! It is my deepest wish that my written (or occasionally spoken) words go out and land in the hearts of those who want and need them so I am very glad they found you today❤❤
While it may sound a bit woo, I notice that if I don't truly want something related to work, specifically, the Universe steps in and removes it. This takes the form of opportunities that I was dreading falling through...clients who I didn't actually want to work with cancelling last minute...Nature intervening with snow storms, etc. I brushed it off for a long while. Now, when I deeply don't want to do something work related, I more than halfway expect the Universe will remove it from my schedule.
I am about the science but I am much MORE about the woo so I love your comment Dana! It's fascinating to notice this happening, it's as if we are being held by that thing that is greater than us. We know we can let go and it will turn out as it should. As I move through my years and keep practicing this I see how it can become easier to allow things to unfold. I'm going to try paying closer attention to those things I don't want to do and see what happens.
Thank you for dropping into my comments section, I appreciate it!