Yes, about two years ago I drew a line in the sand for myself, which acts as a constant reminder that I can't cross it. I stopped working so many hours in my psychotherapy practice and started devoting time to my writing. it's a line I'm sure I'll never cross
This makes me appreciate that we have agency both ways--whether we live up to our ideals, or not. Either way, it was our choice. We're never a victim of circumstances... even when disappointments and bad luck happen (as they invariably do).
I love the word agency, it feels so solid and meaningful. You're right Isabel that we can use our independence to move us in any direction we choose, it's up to us. I think having so many amazing humans walk ahead of us, demonstrating the power of choice in horrific situations, can inspire us to do better even if it's simply a matter of reminding ourselves of the power of our mind and letting go of being a victim.
Great question for comments. I’ve been forced to make changes because of my reaction to foods and alcohol and having had cancer. Our bodies are constantly talking to us but who will listen?
You've had to make so many changes and hopefully you feel better overall than you would otherwise. Sometimes it's hard to listen to our body, especially with addictive substances like sugar. It's like the chemistry of the substance screams louder than our body. That's why I've found I need that line - sometimes I've even literally stepped over a line I made on the floor into a new habit.
Hi Donna, I laughed when I read the quote about having one's life together, for about 45 seconds. How true - at least for me. I think I've figured it out - whatever it is - and then poof - guess not.
I hate to say it but I've been known to draw hard lines between myself and people who used to be close friends. Sometimes it has to do with lifestyle or sometimes it's their inability to be reasonable. People change, things change and we don't all have to stay in each others lives if it's no longer a fit.
I think making a tough choice like that is a hallmark of being a self-aware human. We cannot carry every person along with us because it wouldn't be helpful for either person. Staying in a relationship with a person who doesn't have the ability to reason or who has totally different values closes the door for us to find the people who get us, who will nurture us, lift us up and allow us to do the same for them. Sometimes the best (easiest? I know it's never easy) way to do this is by making it a hard line and moving on even though it sucks.
This comment is a perfect segue into what I'm working on right how which is an essay on how we often have to do difficult or painful things in order to feel good or have peace!
Definitely sucks. The worst part is, "Do I tell them or just ghost them?" I'm afraid to hurt feelings so yeah....I'll be over here waiting for your next email!
This is an excellent question. I would say it depends what you want or need to get out of telling them. I would suggest (haha - because who doesn't love unsolicited advice🤣) asking yourself WHY you want to tell them. Look at the best and worst outcome and see if you have any unchecked expectations that might not be met, and the risk that if that happens you might be hurt even more. The flip side is that you may feel the whole thing is unresolved if you don't talk to them. Both of these positions are uncomfortable so it comes down to which one will help you feel like you're moving forward in the best possible way.
Hi Donna, great insights again this Sunday. Thank you for sharing your thoughts . I’m always listening and trying to tune into ways to show up as my best self. Love the thought about paying attention to our habits and being aware of where they will take us. Line in the sand is a good visual too. I have work to do! Your posts often help give me a little nudge . Gracias 🙏🏻🥰
“It’s how you feel when you know what’s important.” — that first line hit me Donna. That is such a wonderful North Star to remember.
I absolutely love your gentle nudges towards the bright side, even when I get to them a few days later than planned, I feel I always read them at just the right time.
The only time to read a thing is when we get to it - I guess I should clarify the only time to read a post! Clearly we want to read our electricity bill in time so they don’t shut off our power🤣 I always miss your drops because they come on a day when I’m in the clinic so its awhile before I see them.
A couple years ago Russel Nohelty mentioned that reading Substack posts should be like flipping through a magazine - you have your regular columnists you return to and, otherwise, just lock in to what interests you. I liked that. It also means it’s timeless.
Yes, I’ve noticed that most people post either Sundays, which for me, being in Australia and ahead of the most of the world time wise, means that all arrive in my emails on Monday morning just as my work week is starting. So it’s not exactly the best time either haha. But that’s cool, we come to them at the right time.
I do like what Russel Nobelty said, that’s a nice way of thinking about it.
Yes, about two years ago I drew a line in the sand for myself, which acts as a constant reminder that I can't cross it. I stopped working so many hours in my psychotherapy practice and started devoting time to my writing. it's a line I'm sure I'll never cross
Well done Rolando! The quality of your poetry reflects your dedication. I hope there is a book of poems and stories in your future.
Hi Donna. Thnk you. I am working on my book 😀
Yay! Well done Rolando, I’m so happy to hear this. I will buy the first English copy😊
😀😀
This makes me appreciate that we have agency both ways--whether we live up to our ideals, or not. Either way, it was our choice. We're never a victim of circumstances... even when disappointments and bad luck happen (as they invariably do).
Choice is hours. Each moment ❤️
Absolutely😘
This reminds me of that quote: “Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.”
Yes, there's no such thing as a bad choice because it's what we thought was best at the time.
I love the word agency, it feels so solid and meaningful. You're right Isabel that we can use our independence to move us in any direction we choose, it's up to us. I think having so many amazing humans walk ahead of us, demonstrating the power of choice in horrific situations, can inspire us to do better even if it's simply a matter of reminding ourselves of the power of our mind and letting go of being a victim.
Thanks so much for being here💕
Great question for comments. I’ve been forced to make changes because of my reaction to foods and alcohol and having had cancer. Our bodies are constantly talking to us but who will listen?
You've had to make so many changes and hopefully you feel better overall than you would otherwise. Sometimes it's hard to listen to our body, especially with addictive substances like sugar. It's like the chemistry of the substance screams louder than our body. That's why I've found I need that line - sometimes I've even literally stepped over a line I made on the floor into a new habit.
Hi Donna, I laughed when I read the quote about having one's life together, for about 45 seconds. How true - at least for me. I think I've figured it out - whatever it is - and then poof - guess not.
Keep thriving ❤️
I know!! It's long been my goal to string together five consecutive days of feeling like I'm sorted out...I'll let you know if that day ever arrives🤣
I hate to say it but I've been known to draw hard lines between myself and people who used to be close friends. Sometimes it has to do with lifestyle or sometimes it's their inability to be reasonable. People change, things change and we don't all have to stay in each others lives if it's no longer a fit.
I think making a tough choice like that is a hallmark of being a self-aware human. We cannot carry every person along with us because it wouldn't be helpful for either person. Staying in a relationship with a person who doesn't have the ability to reason or who has totally different values closes the door for us to find the people who get us, who will nurture us, lift us up and allow us to do the same for them. Sometimes the best (easiest? I know it's never easy) way to do this is by making it a hard line and moving on even though it sucks.
This comment is a perfect segue into what I'm working on right how which is an essay on how we often have to do difficult or painful things in order to feel good or have peace!
Definitely sucks. The worst part is, "Do I tell them or just ghost them?" I'm afraid to hurt feelings so yeah....I'll be over here waiting for your next email!
This is an excellent question. I would say it depends what you want or need to get out of telling them. I would suggest (haha - because who doesn't love unsolicited advice🤣) asking yourself WHY you want to tell them. Look at the best and worst outcome and see if you have any unchecked expectations that might not be met, and the risk that if that happens you might be hurt even more. The flip side is that you may feel the whole thing is unresolved if you don't talk to them. Both of these positions are uncomfortable so it comes down to which one will help you feel like you're moving forward in the best possible way.
That's plenty of food for thought. Thanks Donna!
Hi Donna, great insights again this Sunday. Thank you for sharing your thoughts . I’m always listening and trying to tune into ways to show up as my best self. Love the thought about paying attention to our habits and being aware of where they will take us. Line in the sand is a good visual too. I have work to do! Your posts often help give me a little nudge . Gracias 🙏🏻🥰
Thanks Sweetie, I'm so glad you are here❤️
“It’s how you feel when you know what’s important.” — that first line hit me Donna. That is such a wonderful North Star to remember.
I absolutely love your gentle nudges towards the bright side, even when I get to them a few days later than planned, I feel I always read them at just the right time.
Thank you friend :)
The only time to read a thing is when we get to it - I guess I should clarify the only time to read a post! Clearly we want to read our electricity bill in time so they don’t shut off our power🤣 I always miss your drops because they come on a day when I’m in the clinic so its awhile before I see them.
A couple years ago Russel Nohelty mentioned that reading Substack posts should be like flipping through a magazine - you have your regular columnists you return to and, otherwise, just lock in to what interests you. I liked that. It also means it’s timeless.
I appreciate your North Star comment, thank you❤️
Yes, I’ve noticed that most people post either Sundays, which for me, being in Australia and ahead of the most of the world time wise, means that all arrive in my emails on Monday morning just as my work week is starting. So it’s not exactly the best time either haha. But that’s cool, we come to them at the right time.
I do like what Russel Nobelty said, that’s a nice way of thinking about it.
Yes, Sunday is a big posting day🥲