I appreciate both your perspectives, Cissy and Donna, thank you for sharing them!
One paragraph stood out for me: "As a result of not knowing myself, I was very social, constantly trying on as many different personas as possible to arrive at one that fit me best. For better or worse, I could adapt myself to whoever I was surrounded by rather than be secure in my own way of being. The tool I used for this adaptation was alcohol and, while it was very effective for partying, it masked who I was on the inside." I think that's the way of it, isn't it? Alcohol is sometimes a great averaging, smoothing off the rough bits and jagged edges, drawing us into a sloshy puddle. Good for some; but for others who have "learned" that who they are is unacceptable, it can become all too alluring.
Thanks for such close reading Troy, I appreciate your comments. At first alcohol certainly smooths those jagged edges, both in us and in those around us...until it doesn't! Until that sloshy puddle becomes muddy.
Just like my collaboration with you, this discussion called me to greater self examination and clarity which is always an interesting process🤣
Wonderful, honest, and truly inspiring words from both of you. I liked everything that was said, but this especially stuck out fir me — “We cannot transform if we are not acutely aware of what we want to shift and why we want to do it.”
It's so easy to focus on what we are going to lose (in my case wine) rather than what we will gain. Our brain is hardwired to do this so it takes a lot of effort to intentionally overcome it. I can't accomplish a darn thing that's important to me if I waft along without having this clarity.
This was wonderful. Your courage is inspiring. Alcohol truly has no benefits except for the illusion of being a fun person if at all. I have my own theory that it can cause cancer. It depletes one of vit c and vit c has been studied as a cancer preventative.
Thank you Sweetie. In Canada the government has recognized it as a known carcinogen. Maybe someday they will put those big warnings on it like they do on cigarettes in our country. xo
Thank you I have read your link and there was one thing you said in it that I never heard or been explained it opened up a whole new outlook on soberity for me now. It was the part where you treat your soberity as a lover and respect and not take it for granted cause it can always leave and that's where I made the mistake in the past I always fall back into it cause I never had that mind set cause I stopped it for a while and I thought I was cured. My relationship with alcohol and substances are destructive. It has caused me time away from my children.
I'm glad that line sunk in Micheal. You may find help from a recovery organization or some way of surrounding yourself with other folks who are ahead of you on the journey. I remember reading the story of a woman who had been sober for 14 years and she was grocery shopping and walked past a person giving wine samples and she had one without thinking! For some reason that story has always stuck with me about how easy it is to go backwards.
Also, I would suggest reading the work of Dee Rambeau, who commented below. He is an excellent writer and has published many pieces in the month of September for recovery month. You might like them.
And also I have reached out and started going back to my groups and drug and alcohol counsellor again and support from my mental health worker and seen the doctor and got my meds again.
Thank you so much for that line cause this was the first pay day for a year and half since I got out of prison this time I haven't spent any money on any drugs or alcohol. Because I just have follow that line and I also read some of Dee's work OMG it's resonated with me so much just so much what he said I've been through and experienced aswell and some ways he explained things it's the way I think. That story spoke to me cause that's how I go cause I had so much clean time up and I thought that was it and I wasn't prepared for my subconscious actions and I thought how did I end up here cause i did not have respect and took my clean time for granted cause I thought I haven't had anything for a long time I thought I was invincible to addiction which I'm clearly not.
Great information! Thank you everyone! 🙏🏻 My relationship with alcohol has changed as well. I’m so grateful many of us are questioning reasons why we consume alcohol and that we have access to the stories and insights of others willing to share their experiences. Being a person that eats healthy, has active lifestyle, loves yoga and meditation and is a continual learner I’m often wondering why I still consume alcohol . I’m stopping more frequently now and starting to prepare for a life without it.
Lynn, as always it' is lovely to see you here. Thank you for taking the time to comment. As I've mentioned in the past I found it to be drops in the bucket of my awareness that gradually caused an internal shift until my insides and outsides were no longer compatible and something had to change. I think, maybe, there are more and more drops in your bucket...❤
My long relationship with alcohol slowed over the past decade or so, to the point where I was no longer interested in having the occasional glass of wine at a family dinner or other gathering. In the past 2 years I had one mixed drink, and only a few sips and just wasn't interested in finishing it. I've lost a few friends to alcoholism in the past 10 years and many more friends are in AA. As we get older it wreaks havoc with our health.
I agree Pamela! The research is pretty conclusive how detrimental alcohol is to our health and longevity. Like you, I certainly found it began to take more than it would give. Isn't it interesting how you just gradually lost the taste and desire for it? That's pretty great.
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friends💕
What a thoughtful piece! I completely agree—it’s often the fear of the unknown that quietly lurks beneath the surface and keeps us distracted. Facing ourselves, with all the vulnerability and honesty that entails, is truly a path to genuine freedom. I try to remind myself of this regularly, although it’s not always an easy journey. Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit low on energy, but the highlight of my week has been dedicating time to my prayers and immersing myself back into writing. I appreciate you sharing this, D. 🤍
Thank you Sweetie and THANK YOU so much for honoring me with a paid subscription. I appreciate your support! May your immersion in your beautiful spiritual life help rejuvenate and restore you❤❤❤
I appreciate both your perspectives, Cissy and Donna, thank you for sharing them!
One paragraph stood out for me: "As a result of not knowing myself, I was very social, constantly trying on as many different personas as possible to arrive at one that fit me best. For better or worse, I could adapt myself to whoever I was surrounded by rather than be secure in my own way of being. The tool I used for this adaptation was alcohol and, while it was very effective for partying, it masked who I was on the inside." I think that's the way of it, isn't it? Alcohol is sometimes a great averaging, smoothing off the rough bits and jagged edges, drawing us into a sloshy puddle. Good for some; but for others who have "learned" that who they are is unacceptable, it can become all too alluring.
Thanks for such close reading Troy, I appreciate your comments. At first alcohol certainly smooths those jagged edges, both in us and in those around us...until it doesn't! Until that sloshy puddle becomes muddy.
Just like my collaboration with you, this discussion called me to greater self examination and clarity which is always an interesting process🤣
haha yes, like sometimes i'm NOT ready for my close-up mr. demille 🤓
Wonderful, honest, and truly inspiring words from both of you. I liked everything that was said, but this especially stuck out fir me — “We cannot transform if we are not acutely aware of what we want to shift and why we want to do it.”
— being clear on our ‘why’ is so powerful.
:)
It's so easy to focus on what we are going to lose (in my case wine) rather than what we will gain. Our brain is hardwired to do this so it takes a lot of effort to intentionally overcome it. I can't accomplish a darn thing that's important to me if I waft along without having this clarity.
Thank you Michael. xox
Hear hear! Well said Donna. :)
yes! one of my favorite quotes by Carl Jung is "until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate"
Good one Cissy!
I like that quote as well, Cissy! :)
This was wonderful. Your courage is inspiring. Alcohol truly has no benefits except for the illusion of being a fun person if at all. I have my own theory that it can cause cancer. It depletes one of vit c and vit c has been studied as a cancer preventative.
Thank you Sweetie. In Canada the government has recognized it as a known carcinogen. Maybe someday they will put those big warnings on it like they do on cigarettes in our country. xo
I'm battling right now with this. This is something I needed to read. Thank you
rooting for you, Michael 🙏🏼
Thank you so much.
I am glad this arrived at the right time Michael. Here is one of my other essays about stopping drinking. https://donnamcarthur.substack.com/p/my-sober-life
You will also find many great resources here
https://danaleighlyons.substack.com/s/soberstack
I promise you exploring your relationship with alcohol is worthwhile💕
Thank you I have read your link and there was one thing you said in it that I never heard or been explained it opened up a whole new outlook on soberity for me now. It was the part where you treat your soberity as a lover and respect and not take it for granted cause it can always leave and that's where I made the mistake in the past I always fall back into it cause I never had that mind set cause I stopped it for a while and I thought I was cured. My relationship with alcohol and substances are destructive. It has caused me time away from my children.
I'm glad that line sunk in Micheal. You may find help from a recovery organization or some way of surrounding yourself with other folks who are ahead of you on the journey. I remember reading the story of a woman who had been sober for 14 years and she was grocery shopping and walked past a person giving wine samples and she had one without thinking! For some reason that story has always stuck with me about how easy it is to go backwards.
Also, I would suggest reading the work of Dee Rambeau, who commented below. He is an excellent writer and has published many pieces in the month of September for recovery month. You might like them.
And also I have reached out and started going back to my groups and drug and alcohol counsellor again and support from my mental health worker and seen the doctor and got my meds again.
Thank you so much for that line cause this was the first pay day for a year and half since I got out of prison this time I haven't spent any money on any drugs or alcohol. Because I just have follow that line and I also read some of Dee's work OMG it's resonated with me so much just so much what he said I've been through and experienced aswell and some ways he explained things it's the way I think. That story spoke to me cause that's how I go cause I had so much clean time up and I thought that was it and I wasn't prepared for my subconscious actions and I thought how did I end up here cause i did not have respect and took my clean time for granted cause I thought I haven't had anything for a long time I thought I was invincible to addiction which I'm clearly not.
“I grew up learning to drink like it was an Olympic sport and I was a champion.”
We must have been teammates 🙄
Thanks for this exchange Donna 🙏
Team USA has quite the Olympic team 😮💨
💪🏻🤣
Oh yes Dee, we would have been busting a move on the dance floor and solving the world's problems from the bar stool as we took one for the team!
Great information! Thank you everyone! 🙏🏻 My relationship with alcohol has changed as well. I’m so grateful many of us are questioning reasons why we consume alcohol and that we have access to the stories and insights of others willing to share their experiences. Being a person that eats healthy, has active lifestyle, loves yoga and meditation and is a continual learner I’m often wondering why I still consume alcohol . I’m stopping more frequently now and starting to prepare for a life without it.
I think so too… quite a journey!
Lynn, as always it' is lovely to see you here. Thank you for taking the time to comment. As I've mentioned in the past I found it to be drops in the bucket of my awareness that gradually caused an internal shift until my insides and outsides were no longer compatible and something had to change. I think, maybe, there are more and more drops in your bucket...❤
My long relationship with alcohol slowed over the past decade or so, to the point where I was no longer interested in having the occasional glass of wine at a family dinner or other gathering. In the past 2 years I had one mixed drink, and only a few sips and just wasn't interested in finishing it. I've lost a few friends to alcoholism in the past 10 years and many more friends are in AA. As we get older it wreaks havoc with our health.
I agree Pamela! The research is pretty conclusive how detrimental alcohol is to our health and longevity. Like you, I certainly found it began to take more than it would give. Isn't it interesting how you just gradually lost the taste and desire for it? That's pretty great.
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friends💕
What a thoughtful piece! I completely agree—it’s often the fear of the unknown that quietly lurks beneath the surface and keeps us distracted. Facing ourselves, with all the vulnerability and honesty that entails, is truly a path to genuine freedom. I try to remind myself of this regularly, although it’s not always an easy journey. Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit low on energy, but the highlight of my week has been dedicating time to my prayers and immersing myself back into writing. I appreciate you sharing this, D. 🤍
Thank you Sweetie and THANK YOU so much for honoring me with a paid subscription. I appreciate your support! May your immersion in your beautiful spiritual life help rejuvenate and restore you❤❤❤
I truly appreciate your support as well! Giving back brings such a warm feeling within. 🤍