Said goodbye to alcohol on Dec 10th. 5 months. Wow. So far, as hard as it has been, it remains the best decision I've made in a long time. Had been wanting to do it for years. Very difficult when everyone around you still drinks - but I'm hanging in and I don't regret it. Life is so much better without the hangovers and self-loathing that, for me, ALWAYS followed (without exception) a night of drinking.
I admire your honesty! I hope your story resonates for someone who needs it! I am so stoked to see how it's becoming more talked about and that there seems to be a movement of sobriety. I really take issue with the culture of drinking being cool and necessary to have fun or to destress! The t shirts, the bumper stickers....the purses that can hide a whole bottle of wine! Mommy juice! yikes
May 7, 2023·edited May 8, 2023Liked by Donna McArthur
Thanks for sharing this Donna. Always happy to hear how others got their own message.
"The more this happened the more I drank but still…there was a spark inside that grew slowly...even with ‘only’ a glass or two (more on weekends - sound familiar?) a day." — sounds very familiar. Lots of folks still tend to think that drinking too much means drinking a LOT, but most people are not at the extreme end of the bell curve on anything. My take on whether one has a "problem," is that if you're asking the question, it's a sign that some part of you wants to change, and so whether it helps you to call it a problem or not, the question is reason enough.
I'd invite you to dig into the question of the so-called "gene for alcoholism." Despite how alcohol use can run in families, and that led a lot of people to think of it as a 'genetic' thing, I'm not aware of any actual evidence of such a gene. It's a common misconception. Personally I think it's sort of a cultural artifact of the disease model.
I've written extensively about my own journey changing my relationship with alcohol, and how I did it, as you did, on my own terms, and without any major catastrophe...
A short version of how—and why—I changed my relationship with alcohol:
Beautiful, powerful share, Donna. I'm coming up on 4 years sober this February. I created an annotated directory of Substacks focused on addiction recovery and sobriety here, if anyone's looking for quit lit: https://danaleighlyons.substack.com/p/sober-substack-addiction-recovery-sobriety There are 92 SoberStackers there and counting!
Wow, yeah the 80’s huh??!! Throwing half barrel kegs out hotel windows on the way to a Van Halen concert. That’s what the ‘cool kids’ did.....so I thought!! It took a long time for me to let that all go. Like 40 years....but...I made it into my 50’s alive and sober. A miracle really!!
You’re right!! Life is much better on the other side of all that.
Said goodbye to alcohol on Dec 10th. 5 months. Wow. So far, as hard as it has been, it remains the best decision I've made in a long time. Had been wanting to do it for years. Very difficult when everyone around you still drinks - but I'm hanging in and I don't regret it. Life is so much better without the hangovers and self-loathing that, for me, ALWAYS followed (without exception) a night of drinking.
There is no right way. Whatever works. Thanks for sharing Donna!
Quitting drinking has been one of the best changes I have made in my life. Stay proud of yourself, Donna!
Thx for this. Curious if you might sip for a special toast or just use water? I’m in between.
I admire your honesty! I hope your story resonates for someone who needs it! I am so stoked to see how it's becoming more talked about and that there seems to be a movement of sobriety. I really take issue with the culture of drinking being cool and necessary to have fun or to destress! The t shirts, the bumper stickers....the purses that can hide a whole bottle of wine! Mommy juice! yikes
Bravo!
This is a lovely piece Donna. I really liked the line “I witnessed my soul lose respect for myself” - I related to that a lot.
I also appreciate that you acknowledged that there is no right way to get sober - as I think that can be helpful for people to hear.
Thank you
Thanks for sharing this Donna. Always happy to hear how others got their own message.
"The more this happened the more I drank but still…there was a spark inside that grew slowly...even with ‘only’ a glass or two (more on weekends - sound familiar?) a day." — sounds very familiar. Lots of folks still tend to think that drinking too much means drinking a LOT, but most people are not at the extreme end of the bell curve on anything. My take on whether one has a "problem," is that if you're asking the question, it's a sign that some part of you wants to change, and so whether it helps you to call it a problem or not, the question is reason enough.
I'd invite you to dig into the question of the so-called "gene for alcoholism." Despite how alcohol use can run in families, and that led a lot of people to think of it as a 'genetic' thing, I'm not aware of any actual evidence of such a gene. It's a common misconception. Personally I think it's sort of a cultural artifact of the disease model.
https://americanaddictioncenters.org/alcoholism-treatment/symptoms-and-signs/hereditary-or-genetic
I've written extensively about my own journey changing my relationship with alcohol, and how I did it, as you did, on my own terms, and without any major catastrophe...
A short version of how—and why—I changed my relationship with alcohol:
https://open.substack.com/pub/bowendwelle/p/change-of-heart
I still love wine... I just don't drink it any longer:
https://open.substack.com/pub/bowendwelle/p/a-five-minute-love-affair-with-natural
Five Years Sober*
https://open.substack.com/pub/bowendwelle/p/five-years-sober
Sex is Better Sober...and 19 other reasons why Alcohol is Obsolete:
https://open.substack.com/pub/bowendwelle/p/sex-is-better-sober
Well done. Good to be here with you, on the other side!
Beautiful, powerful share, Donna. I'm coming up on 4 years sober this February. I created an annotated directory of Substacks focused on addiction recovery and sobriety here, if anyone's looking for quit lit: https://danaleighlyons.substack.com/p/sober-substack-addiction-recovery-sobriety There are 92 SoberStackers there and counting!
Your story resonates greatly with me.thank you so much for sharing it Donna.
Two years on November 10th, thank "GG"- it is a Bright Life, isn't it? 💛💛💛
Powerful Donna
Wow, yeah the 80’s huh??!! Throwing half barrel kegs out hotel windows on the way to a Van Halen concert. That’s what the ‘cool kids’ did.....so I thought!! It took a long time for me to let that all go. Like 40 years....but...I made it into my 50’s alive and sober. A miracle really!!
You’re right!! Life is much better on the other side of all that.
Good post!!! I related to it entirely. Thanks!!!