First off, can I say what a fantastic title! And this is such an interesting perspective on a vibe that we all know when we feel, and that we can see it in others too. Having one's shit together is almost like a base condition regardless of what chaos may be going on in our outer lives... super super interesting and something I will need to reflect more on. Thank you Donna!
I'm so glad you found something to reflect on Zan, and that you liked the title. I find headlines are so difficult to come up with so I'm always glad when I find one that lands! I think you nailed it when you said having our shit together is like a base condition. This is the point I was trying to convey, and it could go by many other words - perhaps it's an underlying essence that can be the foundation that everything else stands on. It is something that is built rather than given.
As always, I enjoy the insights you bring to the comments section over here!
So much yes to this, Donna, "A simple thing we can do is to remind ourselves that we have a right to fully take up our space in this world, as does everyone else." And I think, in fact, that it is ALL the little things we do that have a combined effect. And this made me laugh out loud. "All the rest is gravy. Just kidding, you and I both know all the rest is very difficult which is why it’s great to have an easy place to start." Thank you! 💜
You're right Jocelyn, it's the combined effect of all the little things that help us create a well to draw on, not just as we move through our day but also when the hard stuff hits. I'm so glad I made you laugh out loud (sometimes that's all we can do!). It's wonderful to see you here in the comments section, thanks for stopping by❤️
Hey buddy you are now an avid gym goer and with that comes no slouching🤣, it's included in the membership! Also, I should have clarified eye contact when appropriate (which is probably not when following someone around the grocery store).
haha I suppose gluing a book to the top of my head is cheating?
Meanwhile, there’s this new thing, apparently - go to the grocery store and put a pineapple upside down in your basket to let people know you’re cruising. 🤣🍍💛
Take care Donna, that you don't get mistaken for a Stalker ! TIP - next time jes Strut yer Stuff like Taylor Swift or Mick Jagger - Play safe !! Maurice
Ha good point Maurice. Stalking someone definitely creates bad vibes so I think of it as strongly noticing! I will keep your words to strut my stuff in my mind. As always, I love seeing you here in my comments section!
KJ thanks for dropping into my comments section, it’s great to see you here!
I’m glad you could relate to my essay. I think the less people who follow folks around the grocery store, trying to catch some of their good energy, the better🤣 so it’s nice to hear you don’t do that!
I love this so much Donna! I don’t know if I’ve ever followed someone, but I have definitely felt the ‘presence’ of someone as though they really have something amazing to say with their energy. I’m not sure I’ve ever got it together, but I did dress nicely to go to the dentist yesterday, which made me feel better, even if I felt a wobbly mess inside!
Wonderful article Donna. I am so enjoying these little bits of humour you’ve been throwing in lately. I mean, the idea of you following a couple around the grocery store is just gold!
Also, your line — “Remember that sometimes the smallest things will create a big shift if done repetitively.”
— reminded me a of famous quote by the philosopher Aristotle:
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
I can’t remember if I’ve followed anyone…probably at some point in my life. But I definitely remember avoiding someone. A few years ago when I never went out of the house, and definitely didn’t go grocery shopping, I had to quickly go and grab something. My worst fear came true. I saw someone from my old work and had to actively avoid him as I just couldn’t fathom having to stop and say any kind of words…even hello. I ducked behind shelves, and quickly went down a different aisle, but then was on high alert. So I just ended up walking out of the store. I wasn’t ready to be back in public. When you don’t feel good, you don’t stand tall and it sucks. Luckily, this is changing for me.
To answer your question, I have only followed attractive men around the grocery store. But since I didn't have said shit together, they never notice LOL.
I agree that the way we carry ourselves can make all the difference. I used to walk with my head high, chest out, standing tall. It was my normal state of being. That all fell apart several years ago and only now am I consciously aware that it fell apart and I must work to put it back together, on little piece of confidence at a time. 😊
PS: I loved this bite-sized post. Strong message in just a few words. Thanks Donna!
Unfortunately I think you made my point perfectly Kristi - there is an energetic charge to the way we carry ourselves. When our world crashes in on us we carry our pain on the outside as much as the inside, even if it's a subtle shift. Of course often it's not subtle at all as we try to bury ourselves in our clothing and not make eye contact because we are so damn bewildered that all these folks around us are carrying on as if the world is the same as it was. How dare they?
Perhaps the fact that you have noticed you must/want to start putting the pieces back together indicate you're healing. Not that you will ever go back to how you were before but that your hard-earned confidence will look and feel different. It may even be stronger than ever. You've got it in spades my friend, it's just been dimmed recently💔
It starts with what you wear, IMO. And I don't mean that in a snobby way. Do you feel *good* in it...or is it just something you've thrown on? You can feel great in sweatpants...or feel awful, but it's what was handy so that's what you put on. My feeling is, if you don't love everything in your wardrobe, WTF are you doing?! Wear what you like and what feels good on you! Naturally, you'll walk taller, chin up, head high, shoulders back. And you'll look just as elegant in yoga pants and a t-shirt as you would in a ballgown. And swearing is a sign of a high IQ, Donna. (I got lucky once and kept bumping into Alexander Skarsgard at Whole Foods once. He's got a nice...smile. LOL.) xo
That's pretty fun that you saw Alexander Skarsgard at Whole Foods Sandra. A celeb sighting is always interesting as its a nice reminder that they are real people who buy groceries too! I love your call to only have what we love in our wardrobe. This does make it easier to throw on any old thing and feel good about it. I try to hold to that although I admit I have some things that I keep around because they are warm and I'm usually cold. You are right though - when we are wearing stuff we love we walk taller and take up our rightful space.
I love that you used "having your shit together." It takes away this transcendent or hierarchical feel that is possible through comparing. Truly there is no higher and lower here. Using this term it brings it down to earth. After all shit is natural, we all have it and do it. And I totally get what you are saying. There is a quality, a "joie de vivre" that is present. When I see it, I cannot take my eyes off it. I don't want to stare, but at the same time I cannot help myself. It is a beautiful thing to witness, isn't it?
Thank you for summing up exactly what I'm getting at Julie (and for taking the time to leave such a great comment!). There is no higher or lower, there just IS, and that way of being exists even during hard times if we've made the effort to cultivate it from within. According to the research of Dr. Ellen Langer from Harvard, this sense of mindfulness is contagious which might be why we can't take our eyes off it when we see it - or in my case almost accidentally become a stalker🤣
Yes! It's amazing how we can use our body to shift our mindset when we need it, like heading into an interview. Then there are the other times when our body must be still to get well and all we can do is rest in the knowing❤️ I hope you're feeling better.
You have great grocery store stories Dee. They are like a subset of all of humanity in one building. I'm sure this is more apparent in a city than my small, homogenous, mountain town but we still see a variety folks on any given day.
I think that living in our idyllic mountain town where many "choose" to live rather than landing there for work, or love, or what ever else bring folks to a community originally , that there are quite a few " shit together" folks. And yes I have followed them around the grocery store, or art gallery or skating loop on the lake to soak up some of that good vibe. I think it has to do with that consistent using of "choice" to make their life a tailored radiation of the best version of themselves. From upright postures, to smiles on an overcast day they bring life and I am happy to soak it up and be a witness to it, and hopefully radiate a bit around occasionally too.
Heather, you make a good point that we likely see more than the average amount of folks who radiate the good stuff. We are VERY lucky to live where we do! As you and I both know even something as simple as posture, or basic musculoskeletal health, often benefits from this. While not everyone is privileged to be able to tailor their life to create the best version of themselves I do think everyone can stand tall and take up their rightful space as best they can.
First off, can I say what a fantastic title! And this is such an interesting perspective on a vibe that we all know when we feel, and that we can see it in others too. Having one's shit together is almost like a base condition regardless of what chaos may be going on in our outer lives... super super interesting and something I will need to reflect more on. Thank you Donna!
I'm so glad you found something to reflect on Zan, and that you liked the title. I find headlines are so difficult to come up with so I'm always glad when I find one that lands! I think you nailed it when you said having our shit together is like a base condition. This is the point I was trying to convey, and it could go by many other words - perhaps it's an underlying essence that can be the foundation that everything else stands on. It is something that is built rather than given.
As always, I enjoy the insights you bring to the comments section over here!
Thanks for that Donna - and I can only bring insights because of your great writing that prompts my thinking!
So much yes to this, Donna, "A simple thing we can do is to remind ourselves that we have a right to fully take up our space in this world, as does everyone else." And I think, in fact, that it is ALL the little things we do that have a combined effect. And this made me laugh out loud. "All the rest is gravy. Just kidding, you and I both know all the rest is very difficult which is why it’s great to have an easy place to start." Thank you! 💜
You're right Jocelyn, it's the combined effect of all the little things that help us create a well to draw on, not just as we move through our day but also when the hard stuff hits. I'm so glad I made you laugh out loud (sometimes that's all we can do!). It's wonderful to see you here in the comments section, thanks for stopping by❤️
LOVE this! So much truth here
Eden thank you so much! I'm so glad to see you here and that you got some little nugget from my post.
I think I got the Be Kind down, but the No Slouching and Eye Contact? Def a work in progress. ;)
Hey buddy you are now an avid gym goer and with that comes no slouching🤣, it's included in the membership! Also, I should have clarified eye contact when appropriate (which is probably not when following someone around the grocery store).
haha I suppose gluing a book to the top of my head is cheating?
Meanwhile, there’s this new thing, apparently - go to the grocery store and put a pineapple upside down in your basket to let people know you’re cruising. 🤣🍍💛
Take care Donna, that you don't get mistaken for a Stalker ! TIP - next time jes Strut yer Stuff like Taylor Swift or Mick Jagger - Play safe !! Maurice
Ha good point Maurice. Stalking someone definitely creates bad vibes so I think of it as strongly noticing! I will keep your words to strut my stuff in my mind. As always, I love seeing you here in my comments section!
Strongly noticing you as you, shine out from my screen, reaching to the future you, from where ‘ere you’ve been…
Maurice this is beautiful, thank you!
So are you
I have not - people probably follow me around, though, because I look odd.
Anyway, excellent article and quite relatable!
Yeah Kella, I get that too, I went to watch a fashion show on Sunday, they thought I was one of the models ! Lol !
KJ thanks for dropping into my comments section, it’s great to see you here!
I’m glad you could relate to my essay. I think the less people who follow folks around the grocery store, trying to catch some of their good energy, the better🤣 so it’s nice to hear you don’t do that!
I love this so much Donna! I don’t know if I’ve ever followed someone, but I have definitely felt the ‘presence’ of someone as though they really have something amazing to say with their energy. I’m not sure I’ve ever got it together, but I did dress nicely to go to the dentist yesterday, which made me feel better, even if I felt a wobbly mess inside!
Wonderful article Donna. I am so enjoying these little bits of humour you’ve been throwing in lately. I mean, the idea of you following a couple around the grocery store is just gold!
Also, your line — “Remember that sometimes the smallest things will create a big shift if done repetitively.”
— reminded me a of famous quote by the philosopher Aristotle:
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
:)
I can’t remember if I’ve followed anyone…probably at some point in my life. But I definitely remember avoiding someone. A few years ago when I never went out of the house, and definitely didn’t go grocery shopping, I had to quickly go and grab something. My worst fear came true. I saw someone from my old work and had to actively avoid him as I just couldn’t fathom having to stop and say any kind of words…even hello. I ducked behind shelves, and quickly went down a different aisle, but then was on high alert. So I just ended up walking out of the store. I wasn’t ready to be back in public. When you don’t feel good, you don’t stand tall and it sucks. Luckily, this is changing for me.
To answer your question, I have only followed attractive men around the grocery store. But since I didn't have said shit together, they never notice LOL.
I agree that the way we carry ourselves can make all the difference. I used to walk with my head high, chest out, standing tall. It was my normal state of being. That all fell apart several years ago and only now am I consciously aware that it fell apart and I must work to put it back together, on little piece of confidence at a time. 😊
PS: I loved this bite-sized post. Strong message in just a few words. Thanks Donna!
Unfortunately I think you made my point perfectly Kristi - there is an energetic charge to the way we carry ourselves. When our world crashes in on us we carry our pain on the outside as much as the inside, even if it's a subtle shift. Of course often it's not subtle at all as we try to bury ourselves in our clothing and not make eye contact because we are so damn bewildered that all these folks around us are carrying on as if the world is the same as it was. How dare they?
Perhaps the fact that you have noticed you must/want to start putting the pieces back together indicate you're healing. Not that you will ever go back to how you were before but that your hard-earned confidence will look and feel different. It may even be stronger than ever. You've got it in spades my friend, it's just been dimmed recently💔
Thanks for saying that Donna. All true. It's interesting how good we get at completely hiding in plain sight.
It starts with what you wear, IMO. And I don't mean that in a snobby way. Do you feel *good* in it...or is it just something you've thrown on? You can feel great in sweatpants...or feel awful, but it's what was handy so that's what you put on. My feeling is, if you don't love everything in your wardrobe, WTF are you doing?! Wear what you like and what feels good on you! Naturally, you'll walk taller, chin up, head high, shoulders back. And you'll look just as elegant in yoga pants and a t-shirt as you would in a ballgown. And swearing is a sign of a high IQ, Donna. (I got lucky once and kept bumping into Alexander Skarsgard at Whole Foods once. He's got a nice...smile. LOL.) xo
That's pretty fun that you saw Alexander Skarsgard at Whole Foods Sandra. A celeb sighting is always interesting as its a nice reminder that they are real people who buy groceries too! I love your call to only have what we love in our wardrobe. This does make it easier to throw on any old thing and feel good about it. I try to hold to that although I admit I have some things that I keep around because they are warm and I'm usually cold. You are right though - when we are wearing stuff we love we walk taller and take up our rightful space.
I love that you used "having your shit together." It takes away this transcendent or hierarchical feel that is possible through comparing. Truly there is no higher and lower here. Using this term it brings it down to earth. After all shit is natural, we all have it and do it. And I totally get what you are saying. There is a quality, a "joie de vivre" that is present. When I see it, I cannot take my eyes off it. I don't want to stare, but at the same time I cannot help myself. It is a beautiful thing to witness, isn't it?
Thank you for summing up exactly what I'm getting at Julie (and for taking the time to leave such a great comment!). There is no higher or lower, there just IS, and that way of being exists even during hard times if we've made the effort to cultivate it from within. According to the research of Dr. Ellen Langer from Harvard, this sense of mindfulness is contagious which might be why we can't take our eyes off it when we see it - or in my case almost accidentally become a stalker🤣
Spot on, Donna. Standing tall makes a huge difference. Shoulders back too. My daughter does power stances before a job interview. 🥰
Yes! It's amazing how we can use our body to shift our mindset when we need it, like heading into an interview. Then there are the other times when our body must be still to get well and all we can do is rest in the knowing❤️ I hope you're feeling better.
As you know I love me some grocery aisle stories ☺️
It’s all about energy indeed 🙏
You have great grocery store stories Dee. They are like a subset of all of humanity in one building. I'm sure this is more apparent in a city than my small, homogenous, mountain town but we still see a variety folks on any given day.
I think that living in our idyllic mountain town where many "choose" to live rather than landing there for work, or love, or what ever else bring folks to a community originally , that there are quite a few " shit together" folks. And yes I have followed them around the grocery store, or art gallery or skating loop on the lake to soak up some of that good vibe. I think it has to do with that consistent using of "choice" to make their life a tailored radiation of the best version of themselves. From upright postures, to smiles on an overcast day they bring life and I am happy to soak it up and be a witness to it, and hopefully radiate a bit around occasionally too.
Heather, you make a good point that we likely see more than the average amount of folks who radiate the good stuff. We are VERY lucky to live where we do! As you and I both know even something as simple as posture, or basic musculoskeletal health, often benefits from this. While not everyone is privileged to be able to tailor their life to create the best version of themselves I do think everyone can stand tall and take up their rightful space as best they can.
I could not agree with this more!
I love that we are on the same wavelength Isabel!