I love it when we are thinking about something and the perfect-right-thing crosses our path to offer support. I love it even more that I could be that thing for you Gillian❤. Thank you for being here and for taking the time to comment.
I believe in purpose partly because of the layered messes people mistake for living, that you mention. I agree that waiting for a purpose, especially one really specific, is folly. It takes active thinking and doing, and I believe our instinct tells up when we are on the right track even if the purpose is unclear.
You'll see my first response below but, having just seen your Note, I'm curious if, after reading this essay, you feel it contradicts what you believe?
Active thinking and doing - which I believe includes active BEING (kind of a bizarre misnomer, but I think you know what I mean). Active = intentional, or not being in autopilot. I agree that if we learn to listen to our inner voice we will be guided even if we can't see the purpose of it in that moment. There may be no specific reason other than that it's an interesting thing to do.
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment here!
Thanks for the reply. I do not see much to disagree over of significance. Purpose is a word that I notice, and I have been influenced by Viktor Frankl. Although, I do not completely agree with him either. Two people can look at something and use different language sometimes. For me, I tend to call autopilot being aware only with the immediate right in front of us. I try to inspire people to look for more than that in life. After all, if we do what the other person has done we will get the exact same thing. Thanks again and I look forward to reading more.
An interesting point about our culture that if we do what the other person has done we will get the exact same thing. Yes! Sometimes that's awesome and other times not so much.
Good points, which help us relax about our lives. There are so many in the "self help" world which have definitely been profit prophets! Cheers to those who just Be...
: ) I was offered a job by one of the profit prophets and turned her down! She is an international best seller and people quote her all the time. Listened to my intuition and found out many years later, that it's not even her work- she stole the work from a spiritual group...And, met many other "profits" who all have a schtick...solutions that don't stick...
Beautifully articulated. I’ve left behind a life of ‘busyness’ and am now living the slow and simple; essentially learning to live completely in the present and gracefully flow with life. Each day is a gift and when we have space to fully receive what life wants from us, we open ourselves to the beauty and the wonder of it all.
Wendy, thank you for sharing this. It's wonderful to hear from someone who is choosing a different path and has noticed a difference. I am the same, as I've gotten older I find I am gearing my life toward peace, however that looks and feels. It's a better road for me.
I think the problem with the idea of purpose is that capitalism has turned it into how we earn money. The purpose of any living creature is to fully be and express itself, but our society doesn't think that is enough, everything is valued by its dollar value, including us.
The question "what do I want to explore more deeply at this point in my life is a beautiful one that really works for my ADHD brain. I can't even be the same person for my whole life, never mind think of some one thing I might want to make my life purpose. But I can deeply enjoy the things I am interested in, while I am interested in them, and then move onto the next, maybe one day without worrying about seeing or feeling flakey and inconsistent. Or maybe I accept that I AM flakey and inconsistent and THATS OK!
Esther! Thank you so much for this thoughtful response. Your comment about earning money and purpose has not been brought up yet and I think you nailed it. This seems to be the message inundating our cultural consciousness which leaves those who don't have a 'meaningful' way of earning feel like they don't measure up. That's not okay.
Reminding ourselves that we aren't going to stay the same person, nor would we want to, so of course our interests are going to change is, strangely, necessary. I think it's helpful.
May you keep on following what interests you! I appreciate you taking the time to comment here💕
I literally just published a piece about "what the heck are we doing here? / why live, dear one?" and then came across this piece of yours, Donna. This is the hardest thing for me right now, and it seems like it always has been and maybe always will be. The mind cannot answer this question. Dropping into the body and soul is helpful, but even then, the mystery is so grand, so unfathomable, that my little tiny being-ness certainly seems to be completely irrelevant and unnecessary in the scheme of things. But alas, I continue to choose to live simply because I have found myself here already doing it, so might as well keep playing the game.
Your piece is very thought-provoking Rebecca, thank you for telling me about it. I agree with you that the mind cannot answer this question it must come from deeper inside. Even then, we can never know the unknowable but we can try to deeply know ourselves, to shift out of auto-pilot and acknowledge that we are ever-changing.
My essay was written in hopes of pointing out the damage being done by the assertion that there is only one way to live fully and that's to know our bigger purpose, I don't buy that!
Thank you so much for dropping in here and taking the time to comment, I appreciate it.
Thank you again, Donna, for your wise words. "Know Thyself" has been my life-long motto! Making intentional efforts to shift out of auto-pilot is certainly more vital than having some purpose we are assigned and/or attached to, I agree. It's so lovely to have a discourse with you on Substack!
Life doesn't always need to have a purpose. It's too short. Sometimes just enjoying the ride is enough of a purpose. There doesn't always need to be a deep meaning.
I totally agree Craig. It seems like that’s what gets lost in the drive-for-purpose conversation that is currently floating around our mainstream culture.
Absolutely Glenn! As has been said here in the comments we can make a difference in the things that seem small but aren't. We can make a difference when we show up not grumpy or mean. We can make a difference by our tone of voice.
correct . . . simply wander thru life aimlessly as a moderate hedonist . . . strive only for adequacy and sufficiency and beyond that fill your life with moral pleasures
David, I love seeing you here in the comments, thanks for dropping in. I also love your term moderate hedonist!! I think I likely suck at this, yet it sounds delicious. I'm fully on board with the adequacy and sufficiency because perfection, or anything close to it, is a killer. Even if we have perfectionist tendencies we can work with that to shift in a slightly different direction (I know this to be true from personal experience).
Donna, i habve never found much sense in chasing wealth . . . i have always valued my free time and i don't care much for things with interfere with it, so that's where my little philosophy comes from
What comes from that is you are a very interesting person who notices the small things and has the gift of bringing our attention there. I say this simply based on the cool pictures and comments I've seen you post on Notes. No wealth is needed to stay interesting and share that with others!
Love this, Donna! "Self-help gone bad" (or mad ;) I think that pivot from purpose to meaning is pretty smart, especially the part about "changing the world." I wish we could get away from the idea that our lives don't entirely belong to us, that unless we are doing something "selfless" we are, in turn, worthless. The daily, small acts of wishing people a good morning, smiling, being polite - please and thanks - or lending a helping hand are rare enough that if we could imagine everyone doing these little things, the world would instantly be 100% better.
You nailed it Troy! The small things make a difference because when it seems like the world has gone nuts (maybe it's just me🤣) the only thing we have is the ability to influence our small circle for the better. As far as being selfless I'm not on board. If everyone takes responsibility to be self-full, as in doing the work to live to their best self, our world will be better off. But you already know that. Sending love across the ocean❤
Donna, I will be honest. As I read the first paragraph I have felt strong pull to write the comment that I do not agree about the "purpose" part. But then you wrote about the "meaning" I can tell you that I couldn't agree more. Great post and I have wrote my take on "meaning" myself. Selecting some good images for it and I am about to drop it soon. Keep up the good work.
Tomas, I love that you changed your mind as you continued reading the post. I always appreciate it when essays I'm reading do that so glad I came through for you! I look forward to checking out your take on meaning, thanks for telling us about your post. Also, I appreciate you taking the time to drop into the comments.
Donna, yes it feels very meaningful to write when you can influence people's opinions. Here is a link to the post, you are welcome to explore it. I am thrilled to hear your feedback.
I really enjoyed this. I subscribed to what I once heard which is… Life has no meaning, but we have meaning and we bring that to life. Said another way, we’re not here to discover our purpose, we’re here to define our purpose, if we want to. I feel my life has had many purposes, and tomorrow my purpose will be to go to the park and sit in the sun and feed the squirrels some almonds.
C.A. yes to this! We have meaning and we bring that to life. I haven't heard it put that way before. I think the naysayers would say 'but what if I don't feel like I matter', to which we could perhaps suggest that they look to nature, or one small thing in their life that does matter, and put attention there repeatedly, until they sense a slight inner shift.
I often find my purpose is to go sit in the sun (which is currently tricky in my part of Canada!).
Thank you for taking the time to drop in here and comment AND welcome to Substack!
I think unfortunately many people might feel like they don’t matter. Or don’t matter enough. Or don’t matter in the way that they wish they mattered. I think the first guidance I might give them would be to work on finding a way to matter to yourself. It was Joseph Campbell, who once said his purpose in life was to “have the fullest experience of being alive“ I think if we can try to do that and understand what that means to ourselves that could go along way to helping us matter a great deal to ourselves at least.
Yes, I would say the same thing. Often it's a lifetime of inner work but as soon as we start asking the questions, as soon as we step up to the plate, we will start to shift to an elevated place. No one else can make us matter. Gotta love Joseph Campbell! He shines the light for all of us.
I fully agree with you on this, Donna. I spent so many of my early 20s essentially flailing and doing nothing because I didn't feel anything was "meaningful" enough. I sat on the sidelines telling myself, "once I find something meaningful, I'll jump into the arena"... and the day never came, because my conception of "meaning" and "purpose" was too perfect.
Now, I do exactly what you've described - find the meaning in the actions of the day, knowing that the days will accumulate, as will the meaning behind each of them.
Action often comes before thought or emotion and, as you so wonderfully said Zan, the meanings in those actions may show up after the fact. Sometimes this takes a little figuring out and practice before we grasp that our sense of purpose doesn't present itself from the outside, rather we need to build it on the inside.
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such an insightful comment, it's great to see you here!
I love this article a lot. I touched a nerve for me. I'm one of those (many) peeps that hasn't found her purpose yet in life - and I give this way to much importance. If I compared my old self with the Marie of today, I can honestly say I'm living a way more purposeful life. I have found purpose in writing and in connecting with like minded people. In being present, breathing.
Thank you Donna, I'll definitely subscribe and look forward to read more of your work!
Marie, I am so glad this essay resonated with you! Thank you for taking the time to comment and tell me about it. I too have found that it's often in looking back that I'm able to see how far I've come. Often in the moment it doesn't feel like we are changing, yet as time passes we realize we aren't who we used to be. The things you mentioned, your breath, connection and writing are all very powerful ways of tapping into your highest self. 💕
Thanks. I needed this today, and it's something I have been thinking about.
I love it when we are thinking about something and the perfect-right-thing crosses our path to offer support. I love it even more that I could be that thing for you Gillian❤. Thank you for being here and for taking the time to comment.
Everything is a gift, a fitting response might be gratitude
I wholeheartedly agree Sum. Thanks so much for the reminder and for dropping into the comments section!
I believe in purpose partly because of the layered messes people mistake for living, that you mention. I agree that waiting for a purpose, especially one really specific, is folly. It takes active thinking and doing, and I believe our instinct tells up when we are on the right track even if the purpose is unclear.
You'll see my first response below but, having just seen your Note, I'm curious if, after reading this essay, you feel it contradicts what you believe?
Active thinking and doing - which I believe includes active BEING (kind of a bizarre misnomer, but I think you know what I mean). Active = intentional, or not being in autopilot. I agree that if we learn to listen to our inner voice we will be guided even if we can't see the purpose of it in that moment. There may be no specific reason other than that it's an interesting thing to do.
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment here!
Hi,
Thanks for the reply. I do not see much to disagree over of significance. Purpose is a word that I notice, and I have been influenced by Viktor Frankl. Although, I do not completely agree with him either. Two people can look at something and use different language sometimes. For me, I tend to call autopilot being aware only with the immediate right in front of us. I try to inspire people to look for more than that in life. After all, if we do what the other person has done we will get the exact same thing. Thanks again and I look forward to reading more.
An interesting point about our culture that if we do what the other person has done we will get the exact same thing. Yes! Sometimes that's awesome and other times not so much.
Good points, which help us relax about our lives. There are so many in the "self help" world which have definitely been profit prophets! Cheers to those who just Be...
Profit prophets! That's a good one Robin. If I'm ever acting like a profit prophet please give me a reality check!
I agree, here's to just BEing, and also thanks for being here in my comments section, I appreciate it!
: ) I was offered a job by one of the profit prophets and turned her down! She is an international best seller and people quote her all the time. Listened to my intuition and found out many years later, that it's not even her work- she stole the work from a spiritual group...And, met many other "profits" who all have a schtick...solutions that don't stick...
Well done listening to your higher self, she won't guide you wrong❤
Beautifully articulated. I’ve left behind a life of ‘busyness’ and am now living the slow and simple; essentially learning to live completely in the present and gracefully flow with life. Each day is a gift and when we have space to fully receive what life wants from us, we open ourselves to the beauty and the wonder of it all.
Wendy, thank you for sharing this. It's wonderful to hear from someone who is choosing a different path and has noticed a difference. I am the same, as I've gotten older I find I am gearing my life toward peace, however that looks and feels. It's a better road for me.
I think the problem with the idea of purpose is that capitalism has turned it into how we earn money. The purpose of any living creature is to fully be and express itself, but our society doesn't think that is enough, everything is valued by its dollar value, including us.
The question "what do I want to explore more deeply at this point in my life is a beautiful one that really works for my ADHD brain. I can't even be the same person for my whole life, never mind think of some one thing I might want to make my life purpose. But I can deeply enjoy the things I am interested in, while I am interested in them, and then move onto the next, maybe one day without worrying about seeing or feeling flakey and inconsistent. Or maybe I accept that I AM flakey and inconsistent and THATS OK!
Esther! Thank you so much for this thoughtful response. Your comment about earning money and purpose has not been brought up yet and I think you nailed it. This seems to be the message inundating our cultural consciousness which leaves those who don't have a 'meaningful' way of earning feel like they don't measure up. That's not okay.
Reminding ourselves that we aren't going to stay the same person, nor would we want to, so of course our interests are going to change is, strangely, necessary. I think it's helpful.
May you keep on following what interests you! I appreciate you taking the time to comment here💕
I literally just published a piece about "what the heck are we doing here? / why live, dear one?" and then came across this piece of yours, Donna. This is the hardest thing for me right now, and it seems like it always has been and maybe always will be. The mind cannot answer this question. Dropping into the body and soul is helpful, but even then, the mystery is so grand, so unfathomable, that my little tiny being-ness certainly seems to be completely irrelevant and unnecessary in the scheme of things. But alas, I continue to choose to live simply because I have found myself here already doing it, so might as well keep playing the game.
Your piece is very thought-provoking Rebecca, thank you for telling me about it. I agree with you that the mind cannot answer this question it must come from deeper inside. Even then, we can never know the unknowable but we can try to deeply know ourselves, to shift out of auto-pilot and acknowledge that we are ever-changing.
My essay was written in hopes of pointing out the damage being done by the assertion that there is only one way to live fully and that's to know our bigger purpose, I don't buy that!
Thank you so much for dropping in here and taking the time to comment, I appreciate it.
Thank you again, Donna, for your wise words. "Know Thyself" has been my life-long motto! Making intentional efforts to shift out of auto-pilot is certainly more vital than having some purpose we are assigned and/or attached to, I agree. It's so lovely to have a discourse with you on Substack!
❤❤❤
Life doesn't always need to have a purpose. It's too short. Sometimes just enjoying the ride is enough of a purpose. There doesn't always need to be a deep meaning.
I totally agree Craig. It seems like that’s what gets lost in the drive-for-purpose conversation that is currently floating around our mainstream culture.
..not to mention what is said and heard over and over again: ".... to make a difference ..."
Absolutely Glenn! As has been said here in the comments we can make a difference in the things that seem small but aren't. We can make a difference when we show up not grumpy or mean. We can make a difference by our tone of voice.
Thank you for taking the time to comment.
correct . . . simply wander thru life aimlessly as a moderate hedonist . . . strive only for adequacy and sufficiency and beyond that fill your life with moral pleasures
David, I love seeing you here in the comments, thanks for dropping in. I also love your term moderate hedonist!! I think I likely suck at this, yet it sounds delicious. I'm fully on board with the adequacy and sufficiency because perfection, or anything close to it, is a killer. Even if we have perfectionist tendencies we can work with that to shift in a slightly different direction (I know this to be true from personal experience).
Donna, i habve never found much sense in chasing wealth . . . i have always valued my free time and i don't care much for things with interfere with it, so that's where my little philosophy comes from
What comes from that is you are a very interesting person who notices the small things and has the gift of bringing our attention there. I say this simply based on the cool pictures and comments I've seen you post on Notes. No wealth is needed to stay interesting and share that with others!
Love this, Donna! "Self-help gone bad" (or mad ;) I think that pivot from purpose to meaning is pretty smart, especially the part about "changing the world." I wish we could get away from the idea that our lives don't entirely belong to us, that unless we are doing something "selfless" we are, in turn, worthless. The daily, small acts of wishing people a good morning, smiling, being polite - please and thanks - or lending a helping hand are rare enough that if we could imagine everyone doing these little things, the world would instantly be 100% better.
You nailed it Troy! The small things make a difference because when it seems like the world has gone nuts (maybe it's just me🤣) the only thing we have is the ability to influence our small circle for the better. As far as being selfless I'm not on board. If everyone takes responsibility to be self-full, as in doing the work to live to their best self, our world will be better off. But you already know that. Sending love across the ocean❤
Donna, I will be honest. As I read the first paragraph I have felt strong pull to write the comment that I do not agree about the "purpose" part. But then you wrote about the "meaning" I can tell you that I couldn't agree more. Great post and I have wrote my take on "meaning" myself. Selecting some good images for it and I am about to drop it soon. Keep up the good work.
Tomas, I love that you changed your mind as you continued reading the post. I always appreciate it when essays I'm reading do that so glad I came through for you! I look forward to checking out your take on meaning, thanks for telling us about your post. Also, I appreciate you taking the time to drop into the comments.
Donna, yes it feels very meaningful to write when you can influence people's opinions. Here is a link to the post, you are welcome to explore it. I am thrilled to hear your feedback.
https://tomasmilka.substack.com/p/happiness-is-overrated
Thanks for sharing the link, I look forward to reading it this weekend.
I really enjoyed this. I subscribed to what I once heard which is… Life has no meaning, but we have meaning and we bring that to life. Said another way, we’re not here to discover our purpose, we’re here to define our purpose, if we want to. I feel my life has had many purposes, and tomorrow my purpose will be to go to the park and sit in the sun and feed the squirrels some almonds.
C.A. yes to this! We have meaning and we bring that to life. I haven't heard it put that way before. I think the naysayers would say 'but what if I don't feel like I matter', to which we could perhaps suggest that they look to nature, or one small thing in their life that does matter, and put attention there repeatedly, until they sense a slight inner shift.
I often find my purpose is to go sit in the sun (which is currently tricky in my part of Canada!).
Thank you for taking the time to drop in here and comment AND welcome to Substack!
I think unfortunately many people might feel like they don’t matter. Or don’t matter enough. Or don’t matter in the way that they wish they mattered. I think the first guidance I might give them would be to work on finding a way to matter to yourself. It was Joseph Campbell, who once said his purpose in life was to “have the fullest experience of being alive“ I think if we can try to do that and understand what that means to ourselves that could go along way to helping us matter a great deal to ourselves at least.
Yes, I would say the same thing. Often it's a lifetime of inner work but as soon as we start asking the questions, as soon as we step up to the plate, we will start to shift to an elevated place. No one else can make us matter. Gotta love Joseph Campbell! He shines the light for all of us.
I fully agree with you on this, Donna. I spent so many of my early 20s essentially flailing and doing nothing because I didn't feel anything was "meaningful" enough. I sat on the sidelines telling myself, "once I find something meaningful, I'll jump into the arena"... and the day never came, because my conception of "meaning" and "purpose" was too perfect.
Now, I do exactly what you've described - find the meaning in the actions of the day, knowing that the days will accumulate, as will the meaning behind each of them.
Action often comes before thought or emotion and, as you so wonderfully said Zan, the meanings in those actions may show up after the fact. Sometimes this takes a little figuring out and practice before we grasp that our sense of purpose doesn't present itself from the outside, rather we need to build it on the inside.
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such an insightful comment, it's great to see you here!
I love this article a lot. I touched a nerve for me. I'm one of those (many) peeps that hasn't found her purpose yet in life - and I give this way to much importance. If I compared my old self with the Marie of today, I can honestly say I'm living a way more purposeful life. I have found purpose in writing and in connecting with like minded people. In being present, breathing.
Thank you Donna, I'll definitely subscribe and look forward to read more of your work!
Marie, I am so glad this essay resonated with you! Thank you for taking the time to comment and tell me about it. I too have found that it's often in looking back that I'm able to see how far I've come. Often in the moment it doesn't feel like we are changing, yet as time passes we realize we aren't who we used to be. The things you mentioned, your breath, connection and writing are all very powerful ways of tapping into your highest self. 💕
This was so good Donna! 👏🏼💗
Thank you Mackenzie. It means a lot to me that you are here and you took the time to leave such a lovely comment❤