The MYTH of living a life of purpose

what the heck are we doing here?

Welcome Dear One, I’m so glad you’re here. I write to help us peel back the layers of our daily life to see what lies below the surface, explore possibility, and provide tools for meaningful change.  If you want more of this, please consider becoming a paid subscriber for as little as $5/mo, it’s a wonderful way to support my work.

Here’s an audio if you prefer to listen.

This guy became my buddy after I served him and his rowdy friends at a bachelor party (it was the beginning of the bash, the part where they actually ate the food I put on their table, but it was already getting a little rowdy). The Universe, and the two of us, decided we should be friends. A while later we were walking by the river, talking about his life as a chiropractic student in the US, and I had a ping, ‘If I could do anything I would want to become a chiropractor’. Whoa, that came out of left field, even though I’d been going to one for years. Thankfully, I paid attention because it soon became the driving purpose of my life - for decades.

I don’t think my young son was searching for purpose when he somehow manged to take this pic of himself (I did NOT ask how he pulled that off!) However, he certainly had a meaningful day.

So, I have a purpose therefore I think I may be a unicorn. I have met very few people who live a purpose-driven life, which is OK because I also think we’ve been fed a cultural narrative about it that has become harmful.

People like me are, understandably, annoying (and possibly damaging) to folks who get frustrated because they feel they have no ‘purpose’ - those who feel something is waiting for them, but don’t know how to find it. This sucks a lot. After all, no one needs to think they are doing their life wrong because someone else does it differently.

How about we just ditch this whole idea of a purpose-driven life that was probably mostly created by the internet? Let us push back on the mainstream fabrication that claims a well-lived life must be guided by a deep, singular objective that just might change the world. Says who?

The idea of living a life of purpose is self-help gone bad (IMHO).

However, like most fairytales, there may be a kernel of truth buried in it and I think the important thing is to make most of our days carry meaning.

What I’ve seen happen in myself and others is the pull away from what’s important to attend to the urgent. We allow the layers of life to build to such a degree that we are distanced from our body, our mind, and our spirit which often results in a dysregulated nervous system. This can leave us feeling run down, with a mounting irritation that can grow into something much bigger. Once this happens it becomes very difficult to find the stillness needed to access our inner truth.

If there is a person you are meant to be they are only going to be uncovered via a subtle, intuitive knowing. Your highest self will be found in the quiet moments of your life, somewhere in the stillness. Finding our sense of meaning requires doing the work to structure our days toward a worthwhile life, rather than being a slave to the tasks of adulting. It requires we cultivate a place for our voice to be heard from the inside out and then having the courage to listen to it.

I have found in myself, and those I work with, that our life gains greater meaning when:

1. We learn to live IN our body and pay attention to its signals in a healthy way rather than an anxious one (I recognize this can be extremely difficult for those with a history of trauma but the payoff of working on this is tremendous);

2. We take a few moments each day to get quiet;

3. We take the next step toward something interesting, rather than just think about doing it. The next step may lead us somewhere – we don’t have to know where, and if it doesn’t we have still done something;

4. We intentionally work to elevate our energy;

5. We do our best not to worry about how we’re going to pull this off, or what the outcome will look like, we are simply following our curiosity;

6. We learn to watch for clues because the raw material for our best life surrounds us at every turn and we receive messages all the time, but they are usually so subtle they require our most aware self to notice them.

When we move through life with a narrow perspective it’s tough for anything bigger to make itself known so we can expand our awareness by softening into what’s happening. That inner longing wiggling around the edges of consciousness gets blocked when we hold firmly to our rigid convictions. Drop your gorgeous shoulders and allow your tummy to fill with air… soften into it and carry on Dear One.

May we remember we cannot control or make meaning happen but we can create patterns in our daily life to allow it to settle gently on our being. As best I can tell it’s partly about deciphering ourselves as well as stepping back to allow things to unfold. (I have found both of these very difficult, but I keep practicing.)

One of my favorite teachers Cory Muscara says rather than ask “What do I want to do for the rest of my life” try “What do I feel inspired to explore more deeply at THIS point in my life”? When I hear it that way I feel enriched rather than stressed about figuring it out, I hope you do too.

I have pulled a card for our Bright Life community and I feel today’s card encourages us to move toward creating meaning in our everyday tasks.

This is from my fav card deck, Wealth & WIsdom by Jaden Sterling

Thank you for being here, it means a lot to me.  May you be truly aware of who you really are and carried by Divine Grace in every moment.

Xoxo Donna

P.S. If you enjoyed this please hit the ❤ button to show the bosses at Substack that I’m doing good work. Thanks Hon.

Do you have a favorite way to create meaning in your day? Do you like to pull a card? Drop me a note in the comments.