When the Universal Law of Desire doesn't work

HERE'S WHAT HELPED ME WHEN MY PLAN WENT AWRY

I’m curious, do you find yourself focused on something you want, almost to the exclusion of all other things, or is it just me? I have an addictive tendency that seems to roam the outskirts of everything I’m interested in, trying to push its will on me. This often makes me overly focused, which can be a blessing and a curse.

When I was a student intern working in the clinic, I couldn’t understand why other students would ask me a question, or want to chat, when I was working with a student patient. Couldn’t they see when I’m working I needed to be working (insert eye roll, oh-serious-one)!  

This character trait gets tricky when you put it together with the Universal-Law-of-Desire that says if we intentionally focus on that thing, and visualize it, we can create it. Hahaha! I’m all for the Universal Laws but I beg to differ because it’s not always that simple. (Also, perhaps this guideline isn’t the greatest for someone who leans toward the all-or-nothing-approach because they may not be able to take it with a grain of salt - speaking only for myself!).

Recently I was lamenting (I am vastly understating my level of being bummed) about something I wanted that didn’t work out. For the purpose of this essay I’ll call it The Thing. I had all the good intentions this plan would go as visualized, so when it didn’t I got in a funk.

There appears to be only one oar in this little boat. Perhaps the Captain ended up somewhere different than they planned to go! 📷J Swallow

The morning after my sad/bad/frustrated mood I was working to give myself a reality check and asked my Higher Power for help to be okay with what WAS happening, rather than what I thought SHOULD happen. As these things go, within moments I was flipping through a book and came across this passage which offered me a huge laugh and great comfort at the same time. I wanted to share it in case you’re wondering why that thing you want isn’t showing up in your life the way you thought it would…

I began to imagine that the Universe works like this: whenever we humans long for something, the Powers That Be immediately send it. But everything we’ve ordered is always delivered to our real home address: peace. Go back to the resonance of this statement “I am meant to live in peace”.

Martha Beck, The Way of Integrity

I recorded this quote for you to listen to in a moment of stillness:

These words gave me a wake-up call because living in a state of peace, and mostly contentment, is what I want more than anything. Yet, my incessant yearning was not helping me feel peaceful. I realize the wanting of The Thing created a powerful discord in me, it took over and brought along a general sense of yuckiness. Not because of the object of desire, but because of the powerful WANT. It was a great example of stepping out of everything I hope to be when I grow up.

Nothing seems to flow when we’re discombobulated and struggling for the outcome. Desires arising from a place of agitation are aligned with our ego, that part of us that thinks life needs to show up exactly as we see it in our mind in order to be ________ (insert word of choice: happy, fulfilled, wealthy, acknowledged). Aspirations coming from a place of stillness align softly with our soul and feel much different.

I know this, yet it remains slippery to grasp while it’s happening. Once I set down the sword, so to speak, I arrive at a place of greater peace. It becomes easier to watch and see what will unfold, holding a sense that I’ll be okay regardless of the outcome. Don’t get me wrong, action still needs to be taken but it’s through steps that flow, and challenges that can be overcome, rather than one insurmountable roadblock after another.

No amount of intention and visualization will produce our desire in the exact way we deem appropriate, or expect, because the world dances to a dance we cannot see and there are things at play we cannot name. Let us show up in our daily lives as we want to BE because to quote Eckart Tolle, “It is the quality of your consciousness at this moment that is the main determinant of what kind of future you will experience…” If you have a lousy day because you’re disappointed cut yourself some slack and allow yourself that frustration. May we remind ourselves we have no possible way of knowing for sure what’s for the best?

Also, may you remind yourself that you are awesome and I am wholeheartedly glad you are here with me.

xoxo Donna

P.S.

My friend

Tamzin

, who publishes a beautiful newsletter, asked me to share some of the tools I use for accessing deeper parts of myself, and here is my answer:

On being blind to ourselves

Sharing the ❤:

A big thank you to

Luisa Skinner

and

Danielle McDonald

for recently recommending my Substack. I appreciate it so much!

I am honored to be an ally of

Qstack | The LGBTQ+ Directory of Substacks

, if you want some excellent writing and show your support of our online LGBTQ+ community head that direction.

Lastly, I wish to throw a huge amount of love over to the beautiful

Hazel Gale

and

Ellie Dee

of Betwixt. They publish the most gorgeous, informative newsletter I’ve seen and also have referred me hundreds of subscribers. Thank you!