How to stop comparing

as well as a look at my dive-bar 'athletic' injury

All the self-help people tell us not to think about the “What if’s”. They say, “It’s about the NOW people, no what-iffing.” But my WHAT IF reality check helps pull us into the now by challenging the idea that we aren’t enough.

I believe there are a couple of things we can do that will help draw us out of the comparison trap to live more fully (oh, and also a teensy, little share about my recent dive-bar ‘athletic’ injury)…

Stones on the beach in British Columbia last week. We cannot compare them because, while they are both rocks, they are different and beautiful in their own way. 📸 by my good friend Sigi Black

This reality check is about elevating ourselves to feel equal when we get stuck in comparison - doing it in a meaningful way so it’s sticky in our brain. I got the idea from my good friend

Jenna Newell Hiott

who shared this insightful comment after reading my last post about how it seems like everyone else has it all together:

I looked up the etymology of "comparison" (because I can't seem to help myself 😀) and it has the root meeting "to be together with an equal; or to make equal." I found this to be fascinating. To me, that means the basis of comparison is to find the ways in which we are equal to whatever we might be comparing ourselves with. Instead of "how is that better than me?" I can ask "in what ways am I equal to that?" Hidden in the word is a dismantling of hierarchy.

If you enjoy tarot and magic I highly recommend Jenna’s amazing publication

Witchcraft and Metaphysics with Jenna Newell Hiott

The true meaning and value of comparison is to make equal. Isn’t that something?! I love it when I learn from my amazing readers.

We can shake things up for our egoic self with our determination to find ways in which we are equal. Keep in mind that, in this context, equal does not mean the same as but more like, “I might not be able to do that, but I can do this. I know I can do hard things and have moments of feeling like a rock-star, even if I don’t at this exact second”…that kind of equal!

I find these two lifestyle choices to be very effective at silencing the one in my head who is evaluating everything with some unknown scale:

1. Show up for your day the way you want to BE. That’s it. It’s quite amazing how, when we know who we are and what’s important to us, we instinctively act in a manner that reflects our truest self. When we are coming from this place we gain a sense of equality regardless of how it might look from the outside (which is a lousy measuring stick anyway).

2. When you feel you don’t measure up, and you hear Loudypants in your head, intentionally STOP and do something to elevate your energy. This is an effective way of leveling the nonsensical playing field of comparing ourselves to others because we are shifting our energetic field to vibrate at a higher level. (If this sounds too woo-woo to you please go check out the article I referenced above because it’s not - although that’s also useful!)

The purpose of this reality check is to elevate our physical, emotional, and spiritual energy so we surrender our innate, egoic need to compare ourselves to others. I know there is a lot more to it but I believe it’s a skill we can learn. It begins with catching ourselves when we do it and taking the smallest action to feel better, rather than allowing ourselves to take the low road of feeling like we suck - because it’s simply NOT true.

HEADS UP HON, IF FEET MAKE YOU SQUEAMISH DON’T KEEP READING!

I thought I would share a picture of my recent athletic injury with you. That I’m showing you a pic of my feet tells you how close I feel to you, my beloved paid subscriber!

You know how my people run races and do mountain things…well here I am about to lose both big toenails from…dancing too much (jk, there is no such thing - it is literally impossible to get too much dancing in one lifetime!) This is the extent of my extreme sporting life - five hours on the dance floor rocking to the best band ever in an amazing dive bar…and here I am hobbled!

Remember Hon, we are all good at some things and not others. I have always been far-too-good at partying and apparently I still am.

NO ALCOHOL WAS CONSUMED IN THE HARMING OF THESE FEET!

May you be fully aware of who you truly are and be carried by Divine Grace in every moment. Thank you for listening to the whispers of my heart.

xoxo Donna

P.S. Hit the ❤ if you think I win the dumbest-injury-of-the-week-award and also tell me about your best athletic or dive-bar injury in the comments.